


What Did I Miss?

by ianlipgallagher (mdobbs1614)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, post season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdobbs1614/pseuds/ianlipgallagher
Summary: Lip Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich. An unlikely couple. But after five years together, everyone is pretty much used to it. Well, except for Ian. Who knew that the world kept spinning even if you leave for six years?





	1. Guess Who's Back?

“Honey, I’m home.” Lip calls, making his way into the house and over to where his boyfriend is washing dishes.

“Fuck off.” Mickey yells back. Lip loops his arms around Mickey’s waist, nipping at his ear.

“Ooo, I love it when you sweet talk me.” He teases in a low voice. Mickey shrugs him off, trying to hide that grin that’s threatening to take over his whole face.

Lip snorts, taking a seat on the couch. He sits and watches Mickey finish the dishes, pondering their time together.

How in the world is he living with Mickey Milkovich? In love with him, no less. It’s like at some point his body switched over to a parallel universe or something. 

They started out as drunken mistake right after Ian left. Both of them were at the alibi getting wasted over the same person. Mickey got out of juvie to find that Ian had been gone a month and Lip was still a mess because his brother and best friend abandoned him, only leaving behind a note that said, "I'll been gone awhile. Don't worry. Too many beers and ten shots later and it all just happened. They fucked for the first time in an alley outside the bar. They fell asleep there too. When they woke up the next morning, half naked and surrounded by trash, they made a silent agreement to never talk about it again.

As it turns out, nothing is ever that easy. Lip had never even kissed a boy before, but now he couldn't get Mickey Milkovich of out of his mind. Mickey found himself in the same predicament, lusting after a boy that was his exe's brother and his sister's exe. 

Lip was the one who made the first move, of course. 

Mickey was woken up at two am by the sound of rocks hitting his window. He looks out to see Lip Gallagher staring up at him and pointing at the door. Mickey meets him outside and the rest is history. 

At first, it was just fucking, but it didn't take long for it to progress. They never had any formal conversation, no one pushed the other to go further. They just naturally moved forward together. Mickey started spending most nights at Lip's until one day Lip handed him a key and that was that.

He’s pulled out of his trance by Mickey plopping down on the opposite side of the couch, their legs tangling together in the middle. Mickey lights up a cigarette, taking a few puffs before handing it off to Lip.

The amount of money they spent on cigarettes a month rivals the cost of rent in Manhatten, but it’s kind of their thing. 

Mickey kicks at Lip’s foot to get his attention.

“Why are you so spacey today?” Mickey asks.

“Just thinking.” Lip answers.

“You’re always beautiful-minding something. What is it this time?” 

“You know that next week will be five years? We'll have been together for five years.”

Mickey laughs. “Wow. That’s just fucking stupid, huh?”

“Seriously.” Lip chuckles. “Who woulda thought I’d be with Chicago’s biggest badass?”

“And me with Chicago’s biggest asshole.” Mickey teases, tickling the bottom of Lip's foot. 

“Yeah, but you kinda like me though.”

“Maybe.” Mickey smirks. 

That’s Lip’s favorite thing about being with Mickey. They don’t have to say how they feel about each other. They don’t spend their days arguing about who said something inconsiderate to who. They just know how the other feels.

Sometimes, in the early morning, laying naked, tangled up in each other, it’ll happen. Lip will kiss Mickey’s forehead and tell him what he loves about him or Mickey will run his fingers over Lip’s chest and tell him that he doesn’t want to live without him. But those days are rare and it makes them all the more special. 

Lip and Mickey are both bad at expressing feelings, so they never pressure the other to talk before they’re ready. 

“So, are we supposed to do something to celebrate?” Mickey asks. While Lip was thinking, Mickey had pulled the boy’s legs into his lap, running his hands up and down from knee to ankle. 

One thing no one expected when this relationship started was how touchy Lip and Mickey would be. But not touchy in a sexual way, just touchy like, they always want to feel that the other is there. They like to spend all their time together, almost as though they are a single entity.

Fiona teases that she’s never seen Lip by himself since he and Mickey started dating. It was a joke, but barely. Lip got to work from home most days, since he runs his own company, and Mickey quit his job after Lip started making obscene amounts of money. Now, they spend most their days laying in bed or on this couch together. 

“Lip?” Mickey asks again after receiving no answer.

“Huh?”

“I said are we supposed to do something?”

“Oh.” Lip nods. “Wanna fuck a lot, maybe get high?”

“So just another day?” Mickey jokes.

“Why ruin a great thing?” Lip shrugs.

Mickey leans down to press a kiss to Lip’s shin. Lip raises an eyebrow at him so Mickey yanks Lip closer. Lip huffs out a laugh, grabbing the front of Mickey’s shirt to pull him into a kiss. 

Just as it starts to get heated, the door swings open and in walks Ian. 

Ian, who no one has seen in six years. Ian, who left after Mickey got sent to juvie the second time. Ian, who is know standing at the door, mouth agape at the sight of his brother and his ex-fuck buddy making out. 

“What the fuck?”


	2. What Happens Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter with some flashback for context! (Flashback is italicized in case that isn't clear)
> 
> Enjoy!

“What the fuck?” Ian shouts, bag dropping off his shoulder.

Lip and Mickey slowly separate, very much in shock at seeing the person that they thought they would never see again. Mickey’s eyes shift from Ian’s to Lip’s and back again before he jumps and frantically sprints to the back door.

Ian and Lip both run a hand through their hair, looking very much like brothers as they mirror the same action.

Lip finally realizes that he should be happy, ecstatic even, and stands up from the couch.

“Holy shit, Ian.” He whispers, walking over and pulling Ian into a hug. The hug lasts about two seconds before Lip is shoving Ian back in an angry motion.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Lip ask. Ian flinches even though he was expecting a fight.

“Well. The army first, for a while. Then the hospital and then everywhere. I couch surfed for a really long time. Met people at clubs and convinced them to let me say for a while.” Ian says, eyes focused on the floor instead of his brother. 

“Whoa, back up.” Lip stops him. “Hospital?”

Ian bits his lip anxiously. “Yeah. Turns out I’m even more like Monica than Frank thought. Bipolar.”

“Fuck, Ian.” Lip sighs. “Are you-. I mean-. Shit.”

“Yeah.” Ian nods, sad smile adorning his face. “But it’s okay. I’m on meds now, and it’s not too bad most of the time. I mean, I have my moments, but, yeah.”

“Well that’s great, right? Already a fuck ton more than Monica ever did.” Lip says, forcing a smile.

Lip steps back to sit on the couch and motions for Ian to do the same.

“So Mickey, huh?” Ian tries to grin, but anyone can hear the bitter tone to his voice.

Lip looks around the room, avoiding Ian’s eyes. He nods.

“All those days that you scolded me about letting him toss me around and treat me like crap and now you’re doing it? Fucking some closet case in secret?” Ian snaps, any facade of indifference long gone.

Lip tenses. It never occurred to him how horrible explaining this to Ian would be until this moment. Mainly because he kind of thought that he’d never see Ian again. But Ian’s back now and he has to tell him that Mickey came out for him and is in a relationship with him. Fuck.

“Well.” Lip starts, talking quiet and slowly, which is very out of character for him. “We’re not just fucking. Or a secret. We’re, like, together.” Lip says, still avoiding Ian’s gaze.

“What?” Ian whispers harshly.

“We’re together. Five years next week, actually.” Lip says sheepishly.

Maybe Lip should’ve known what was coming next, but he hasn’t talked to Ian in six years so he’s not as good as predicting his moves as he used to be. That’s what he's unprepared when Ian punches him right in the face, hard and fast.

“Fuck you, Lip!” Ian screams before turning around and stomping out, shaking the whole house when he slams the door shut.

“Well that went well.” Lip sassed to the empty room.

*

Mickey’s been driving around for hours, aimlessly. Ian’s back. He’s back and he has no clue about Lip and Mickey.

Mickey always thought about the possibility of Ian coming back. What would happen? Would Ian apologize to Mickey? What would happen to him and Lip?

Oh fuck. Lip. Mickey hits the steering wheel. He completely abandoned Lip. Lip won’t be mad. That’s not really his thing, but it was still a shit move.

Mickey turns the car around and heads back to the house.

*

Mickey stalks into the house like a man on a mission.

“Lip?” He calls and hears a groan coming from their bathroom in response.

Mickey walks in to see Lip inspecting his bruised face in the mirror. Lip turns toward him and now Mickey can also see the crusted blood around his nose and lips.

“What happened?” Mickey asks, even though he already knows. Of course he knows. “I’ll fucking kill him.” He says, turning back around and heading toward the door as though he knows where Ian is.

“Mickey!” Lip says, chasing after him. “Mickey!” Lip grabs Mickey’s arm, swinging him back around, but Mickey still isn't focused on him. “Dude.”

Mickey meets his eyes. ‘Dude’ is kind of like their version of a pet name. Mickey laughed when Lip first pointed that out. ‘Baby’ or ‘Babe’ always felt weird for them, but somewhere along the line, for some reason, ‘dude’ became the word that always got the other’s attention. Now the name is reserved for moments like these. Moments where one of them is so on edge that it’s hard to get to slow them down.

Mickey cups Lip’s broken face in his hands. “Sorry." He breathes. "I didn’t mean to ditch you. I just panicked.”

“I know.” Lip nods, eyes soft and understanding.

Mickey smiles. Lip always knows. He just gets Mickey. He understands that his default setting is survival and he never faults him for it.

“Still. That was shitty.” Mickey argues, running his fingers through the short hairs on the nape of Lip's neck.

“He’s my brother. Not like you left me with a murderer.” Lip jokes.

Mickey doesn’t laugh. “Looks like I might as well have.” He replies, lightly tracing Lip’s bruised cheek.

Lip sighs. “Just a little punch.”

“I’ve been on the receiving end of an Ian Gallagher punch and there’s nothing little about it.” Mickey says.

Lip tenses and so does Mickey. They’ve never really talked about Ian. About how weird it is that Mickey had a relationship with Lip’s brother, maybe even loved him.

In fact, the only time they ever talked about it was ‘the fight’. The one fight Lip and Mickey ever had. The one thing they don't talk about.

Sure, they have spats. Lip is arrogant and Mickey is perpetually grumpy so they have little arguments daily, but this fight was a blowout. A fight to end all fights. A fight that almost ended their relationship.

 

_Mickey is watching TV when his phone dings beside him indicating that someone left a voicemail._

_“Hey Mickey.” Fiona starts._

_Mickey expected it to be Lip saying he was on the way home so Mickey is surprised._

_“I’m sure Lip told you that we have a lead on Ian but I just wanted to update you. Someone said they saw Ian downtown outside a club so Lip went down there today. I’ll let you know if we find out anything else. Love you. Bye.”_

_Mickey looks down at his phone in disbelief. Lip never said anything about Ian. He said he had work to do today at the office and that’s why he couldn’t stay home. Why would Lip lie to him? They’ve been together for three and half years._

_Mickey sits and thinks until the door opens and Lip walks in an hour later._

_“Hey.” He greets with a smile, leaning down to kiss Mickey’s cheek before shedding his jacket and shoes._

_“How was work?” Mickey asks mechanically._

_“Fine. The usual.” Lip replies easily._

_“BULLSHIT!” Mickey yells, louder than he intended, but his emotion destroyed his voice control._

_“What?” Lip spins around, eyebrows pinched._

_“Fiona called.” Mickey snaps. “Said you found Ian.”_

_Lip sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I didn’t find him, we just had a possible lead, okay?”_

_“Why lie? Why not just tell me?” Mickey asks._

_Lip mumbles something, looking at the ground._

_“What?”_

_“Nothing.” Lip says._

_"What? You don't trust me or something?" Mickey asks._

_"Of course I trust you." Lip replies._

_"Then why lie?" Mickey demands. Lip only shrugs, infuriating Mickey further._

_“So you just lied to me for no reason?”_

_“Yeah.” Lip whispers._

_“Then fuck you!” Mickey snaps, stomping toward their room. He comes back out a minute later with a duffle bag in hand._

_“If you wanna keep secrets, then do it with some other schmuck.” Mickey says, walking to the door._

_“Mickey, wait. Please don’t leave.” Lip begs, not having realized that Mickey was this upset._

_“Then tell me why? Why lie?”_

_Lip’s eyes fall back to floor as he remains silent._

_“Go fuck yourself.” Mickey spits, leaving house and slamming the door behind him._

_*_

_Mickey’s phone dings with a new voicemail._

_“Mick, your phone!” Mandy yells. Mickey’s been staying at her place for the week since he left Lip, and Mandy hasn't said anything about the fight the whole time. He told her the story when he first got there and she simply nodded and told him to stay as long as he needed. She hasn't pushed him in one direction or another, so Mickey's just seeing how long it takes at this point before she tells him to get lost._

_Mickey strolls into the kitchen, picking his phone up and seeing that he has another voicemail from Fiona._

_“Hey Mickey. What’s wrong with Lip? He won’t answer my calls or texts. And his assistant called me saying he hasn’t done any work in a week. Is he sick?  Do you need some help? Call me back. Love you guys! Bye.”_

_“Who was it, Mickey?” Mandy asks._

_“Fiona. Said Lip hasn’t done any work or answered his phone.”_

_Mandy clicks her tongue. “Maybe it’s time you go see him, huh?”_

_Mickey sighs._

_“Look, I know he lied and wouldn’t tell you why, but come on. You guys are kind of perfect together. He’s different with you than he was with anyone else he dated. If he lied to you, then you know he had a reason and now that you’ve been gone for a week, he’ll probably tell you.” Mandy says._

_Mickey nods cause Mandy’s right. Lip doesn’t lie to him. That’s why this one lie hurt him so bad, because he thought he didn’t have to worry about that._

_“You’re right.” Mickey concedes._

_“Good! Go back to your boy and out of my house. Your gross, pitiful self is cramping my style.” Mandy teases._

_Mickey laughs and pulls Mandy into a tight hug._

_“I’ll see you later, okay?”_

_Mandy nods and all but shoves Mickey out the door._

_*_

_Mickey opens the door to his and Lip’s house to be met with no sign of life. He walks to their closed bedroom door and knocks lightly a few times._

_When he hears no response, Mickey pushes the door open._

_“Shit.” He whispers. “Oh, fuck. Shit.”_

_Lip is passed out on their bed, surrounded by beer cans and empty liquor bottles. Mickey pushes a hand through his hair roughly and tries to control his floundering emotions._

_Lip went a rehab facility a year and a half ago. Mickey didn’t notice that Lip was spending most of his life drunk until Lip’s company almost went bankrupt. Back then, the company was still a start-up that needed Lip’s constant attention. The pressure got to Lip and he turned to alcohol. Eventually he was drinking more vodka than water and his body started to crash right along with his business._

_Lip got help and has been sober for fifteen months. Well, until now._

_“Lip. Holy shit, Lip.” Mickey tries to wake his boyfriend by shaking him gently._

_Lip’s eyes flutter open. His eyes are clouded in a way that lets Mickey know that Lip’s still about three sheets to the wind._

_“Mickey?” Lip whispers._

_“Yeah, I’m here.” He nods._

_Lip shakes his head. “I don’t feel so good.”_

_Mickey knows that look. Lip’s about to blow chunks all over the bedspread and by the smell in their room, it wouldn’t be the first time this week. Mickey acts quick, sliding a hand under his boyfriend’s back and knees, scooping him up into his arms and carrying him to the bathroom._

_Right as Mickey sets him down, Lip throws up into the toilet. Mickey slides down the wall behind him to sit rub a hand down his boyfriend's back. Lip vomits two more times before his reaches up half-heartedly and flushes the toilet. He then shifts his body backwards and leans against Mickey’s chest._

_Mickey wraps his arms around Lip’s, intertwining their fingers._

_“I’m sorry.” Lip whispers, much closer to sober now. Mickey can tell by his voice that he’s trying not to cry._

_Mickey just continues caressing Lip’s arms, knowing that Lip will keep talking if he isn’t pushed._

_“I was just scared. That’s why I lied.”_

_“Scared why?” Mickey prompts softly._

_“Because.” Lip mumbles._

_“Because why?” Mickey continues._

_“Because I didn’t want you to run after him.” Lip finally admits._

_“What?” Mickey asks, confused._

_“I didn’t want you to leave me to go find him, okay?”_

_Mickey’s tightens his hold around his boyfriend, knowing that being this vulnerable is as hard for Lip as it is for him._

_“You thought I would leave you for him?” Mickey asks._

_“You’re only with me because he left you.” Lip murmurs._

_Mickey shifts his body and forces Lip to meet his eyes._

_“Hey, you are not a second choice or my conciliation prize.” Mickey says, hoping Lip can hear the sincerity in his voice. “I love you.” Mickey whispers, like it’s just a secret between them._

_Lip inhales swiftly. They don’t say that often so it means that much more when they do. Lip curls into Mickey, pressing light kisses to his neck and shoulders._

_“I love you too.” He says against Mickey’s skin._

_*_

Lip and Mickey are lying side by side in their bed, touching from shoulder to knee, room engulfed in uncomfortable silence.

“So” Lip starts, head tilted in Mickey’s direction. “What happens now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter and having more Lip/Mickey context. Do we want a chapter of flashbacks of the progression of their relationship?
> 
> Thanks for kudos and comments.
> 
> Visit me on [my tumblr](ianmickgallagher.tumblr.com)


	3. Are We Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but there's fluff and smut! Enjoy!

It’s been a week since Ian crashed through their door and Mickey and Lip haven’t really dealt with it. Instead, they’ve just gone through the motions.

Mickey thinks it’s because they’re both on edge with the possibility of Ian’s return. No one has seen Ian since he stormed out of their house. Lip and Mickey's house was his first stop and he never made it anywhere else.

Fiona holds out hope that he’ll stop by and see her since she stills lives at the old Gallagher home, but Mickey isn’t so sure.

If Ian is the same as he was before, he might just stay gone. He’s stubborn. They all know that, and this might be the thing that pushes him overboard. The thing that makes him stay away for good. 

*

Lip’s upset. He and Mickey have barely exchanged a word all week and he’s ready to end it.

The issue with a guy who never really discusses his feelings is that you don’t know how to when you need to. 

He knows that he and Mickey just have to suck it up and talk about the Ian thing. The one insecurity that keeps doubt rolling around in the back of Lip’s mind. 

“Fuck.” He whispers. He’s sitting at the kitchen table nursing a can of soda but wishing it was beer. He looks longingly toward the garage. Mickey keeps his beer in a fridge outside. Lip told him that it was fine to keep it inside, but Mickey insisted. He is very serious about Lip’s sobriety. It took a long time before Mickey would keep any beer at the house at all. 

Lip smiles softly thinking about how much Mickey cares about him. Because he does, Mickey cares about him. Mickey loves him. Lip knows that, but it doesn’t erase the fear in his mind. 

Lip is torn from his thoughts by Mickey walking through the front door.

“Hey” He greets. 

“Mickey. Sit down.” Lip says. Subtlety has never been his strong suit.

“What’s up?” Mickey asks, grabbing a water and sliding into the seat across from Lip.

“We have to talk about Ian.” 

Mickey nods, solemnly. “I know. Doesn’t mean I want to.”

Lip huffs. “Me neither, but we’ve been weird this week and I want that to be over. I miss you, ya know?”

Mickey grins softly. “Yeah, I’ve missed you too.” 

“So, let’s talk.” Lip declares, promptly followed by five minutes of silence. Mickey finally speaks up.

“Well, I don’t what to say. Ian came here, he punched you and then he disappeared.” Mickey shrugs. “What else is there?” 

Lip bites his cheek, clearly wanting to say something but not knowing how.

“Just say it, Lip.” Mickey says gently. 

“How did it feel to see him again? After all these years?” Lip asks, eyes focused on the table instead of Mickey.

“Like nothing.” Mickey answers, causing Lip to raise his head. “Sure, I was confused and I panicked, but it’s been so long. I stopped thinking about him years ago.”

Lip nods, searching Mickey’s eyes for even a hint of deceit. Mickey notices this and stands up. He closes the few steps between him and Lip and sits on Lip’s lap, straddling him. He reaches his hands up to place them on either side of Lip’s neck. 

“He and I are nothing. We never were.” Mickey says, eyes boring straight into Lip’s soul. “I promise you, you are the only Gallagher for me, okay?”

Lip huffs out a laugh. “Okay.”

Lip leans up to meet Mickey’s lips in a sweet kiss. Fuck, he’s missed kissing Mickey this past week. Kissing Mickey is one of his favorite things to do.

Mickey pulls back and stands up, grabbing Lip’s hand and leading him toward their bedroom. He pushes him onto the bed before crawling on top of him, a knee on either side of Lip’s hips. 

He yanks his shirt up and over his head and then does the same to Lip’s.

“Fuck I’ve missed you.” Lip breathes. Mickey grins, continuing to press kisses up and down Lip’s torso. Lip’s hands are tangled in Mickey’s hair. 

Mickey slides his hands down Lip’s chest to unbutton his jeans.

“Get out of these.” Mickey mumbles. Lip laughs and helps Mickey by yanking his pants the rest of the way off. Mickey hops up to strip out of his own jeans before jumping back on the bed. 

Mickey takes Lip’s cock in his hand, stroking it a few times and then dropping his head down to take it in his mouth. 

Lip’s head tilts back as a quiet moan leaves his lips. He looks down to see Mickey staring back at him, mouth bobbing up and down, one eyebrow raised.

“Fuck you’re so hot.” Lip says, causing Mickey to blush, his eyes going back to the task at hand. 

Lip was so sweet and complimentary during sex and it really freaked Mickey out in the beginning. Even before they were really together, Lip would tell him that he was hot or beautiful or gorgeous and Mickey never knew how to respond. He’s used to it now, but it still makes his stomach flutter. 

Mickey hums, swallowing around Lip’s cock twice more before pulling off and climbing back up his boyfriend’s body. Lip drags him into another kiss while reaching behind himself to grab the lube. 

He blindly squirts some into his hand before reaching around to spread Mickey’s ass. Mickey groans as Lip teases his hole, finger tracing the rim. When he finally pushes in, Mickey’s head falls forward to connect with Lip’s forehead. 

Lip spends the next few minutes stretching Mickey open while they just breath into each other’s mouth, little moans slipping from Mickey here and there. 

Lip knows that Mickey is ready when he starts pushing back against Lip’s fingers to force them deeper. He draws his fingers out slowly and Mickey releases an involuntary whine. Lip swallows it with a kiss while spreading lube over his cock. 

He meets Mickey’s half closed eyes, silently asking if he’s ready. Mickey nods minutely so Lip lines his cock up with Mickey’s hole and pushes in. 

Mickey’s back arches at the intrusion, mouth nipping at Lip’s shoulder. Mickey likes starting out on top, but he still wants Lip to lead. He shifts back, forcing Lip to bottom out. Lip grunts at the feeling. 

“God, you’re so tight. Fuck.” Lip moans. 

They pause for a moment, adjusting to the feeling they’ve gone without for a week. Finally, Mickey raises up slowly before sinking back down. He continues this slow rhythm. Up. Down. Up. Down. 

Lip starts meeting his thrusts, speeding up the tempo. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s torso before flipping them over. Mickey moans as Lip starts thrusting harder, now hitting his sweet spot every time. 

“Oh. Fuck. Keep doing that. Fuck.” Mickey breathes. “Lip. Fuck.”

Lip leans down to kiss Mickey, swallowing every moan and sigh. Mickey’s body is so responsive and it drives him crazy.

Lip knows that Mickey’s close because his inner walls start to clench around him. 

“Shit. Mickey. I’m close.” Lip groans. 

Lip reaches down to stroke Mickey’s cock and Mickey comes immediately, white ropes streaking his stomach. Lip follows right after, filling Mickey’s hole. 

Lip collapses on top of Mickey. Mickey easily accepts his weight, sliding his arms around Lip’s waist. Lip raises his head to kiss Mickey. They kiss lazily for a minute, all tongue and no coordination. 

Lip pulls back, placing a final kiss on Mickey’s lip before pulling out slowly. Mickey groans at the feeling. 

Lip flips onto his back beside Mickey, still touching him from shoulder to foot and grabbing his hand to intertwine their fingers. He turns his head to stare at Mickey. Mickey feels this and tilts his head as well. 

“I love you.” Lip says, eyes full of insecurity and doubt, as though he’s worried that Mickey won’t return the sentiment.

Mickey leans in so that their noses are almost touching.

“I love you more.” He whispers, soft smile on his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a series of flashbacks to give you more context for the progression of Lip and Mickey's relationship. 
> 
> Are we still liking this?
> 
> Talk to me on [my tumblr](ianmickgallagher.tumblr.com)


	4. How Did We Get Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a progress of Lip and Mickey's relationship throughout the years to give you some background.

**Five years ago**

_Ping. Ping. Ping._

_Mickey wakes up to the sound of something hitting his window. He groans and turns toward the noise. He opens his eyes and sees a small pebble hit the glass. Ping. Then another. Ping. And another. Ping._

_He racks his brain, trying to figure out who would be trying to Romeo and Juilet his ass at three in the morning, but when he comes up short he grunts and rolls out of bed. He opens his window and narrowly missing a rock to the face._

_Down below his room stands none other than Lip Gallagher, who is pointing toward the front of the house like he wants Mickey to come outside. Mickey blinks and rubs his eyes like his mind is deceiving him, but sure enough, it’s Lip._

_He scrubs a hand down his face and throws on a t-shirt to go see what that fucker wants. He opens the door and rounds the corner to watch a clearly drunk Lip stagger toward him._

_“What the f-” Before Mickey can finish his sentence, Lip is grabbing his face and kissing him, hard and deep. Mickey melts into it for half a second before he remembers where he is and pushes Lip off._

_“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Mickey whispers harshly._

_Lip sighs, wide eyed. “I can’t stop thinking about you. About that night.”_

_“Is being dramatic a family trait? Cause you and Ian have it perfected.” Mickey quips._

_“Don’t really wanna talk about my brother right now.” Lip says, leaning in for another kiss only to be stopped by Mickey’s firm hand._

_“What do you think is gonna happen here? Some kind of relationship?” Mickey asks._

_Lip’s mouth curls up. “What? No. You’re a good fuck. Thought we could go again.” Lip says._

_"Oh." Mickey smirks. “Fuck yeah, dude.” He grabs Lip by the wrist and drags him to his room. Thank God for Terry’s inability to stay out of trouble._

_****_

**Four years ago**

_Mickey is smoking a cigarette outside the Kash and Grab when his phone rings. He sees Lip’s name scroll across the screen and can’t help the grin that sneaks onto his face._

_“Yo.” He answers._

_“Hey, you still at work?” Lip asks._

_“Yeah, got about two hours left.”_

_“Coming over after? I don’t have another class until six.” Lip says._

_“Yeah sure. See ya.” Mickey confirms before hanging up. He ignores the smile that hangs around for the rest of his shift._

_*_

_He shows up at Lip’s apartment at four and lets himself in. Lip always leaves the door unlocked like an idiot and Mickey tried to tell him how that was stupid, but Lip was stubborn._

_“Lip?” Mickey calls upon entering an empty looking apartment._

_“Shower!” Lip yells back._

_Mickey smirks and sheds his clothes, leaving them in a pile in the middle of the living room. He walks to Lip’s bathroom and sees his, uh, his friend in the steam filled shower._

_He slides the glass door and gets in behind Lip. Lip turns around and arches one eyebrow. Mickey ignores how hot he finds that. Mickey licks his lips before rolling his eyes and grasping Lip by the back of his head, pulling him in for a kiss._

_Mickey tries not to think about why he has kissed Lip from the start. No kissing used to be a rule of his and one he felt strongly about, but ever since Lip showed up at his house in the middle of the night, he and Lip kiss have every time they’re together, which is a lot._

_After taking turns blowing each other in the shower, they get out and dry off._

_“Oh hey.” Lip starts. “I’ve been meaning to give you this.” He walks over to Mickey and places a silver key in his hand._

_“What the fuck is this?” Mickey asks quietly but intensely._

_Lip snorts. “A key. To this apartment.”_

_Mickey’s eyebrows raise to his hairline as his eyes bug out of his head and Lip laughs._

_“Don’t give me that look. It’s just so you can let yourself in.” Lip says._

_Mickey’s eyebrows slowly lower to their normal level as he takes this new information in._

_“And you can leave stuff here if you want. Make it easier for yourself when you sleep over, yeah?”_

_Mickey nods slowly. He was bracing himself for the ‘and you can move in’ part of the conversation but it never comes. Lip doesn’t push him, just gives him options and lets him decide._

_“Anyway. I got to get to class, but it’s just an hour if you wanna hang here and we can fuck when I get back.” Lip smirks, walking out of the room._

_Mickey is still frozen to his spot when Lip runs back into the bedroom._

_“Forget something.” He says before kissing Mickey so deeply that he almost melts into a puddle. “Later, dude.” He quips, grabbing his book bag and leaving the apartment._

_Mickey slowly sits down on the bed, eyes shifting frantically from wall to wall and ceiling to floor. Eventually he gets up and grabs his bag. He opens it and takes some clothes out of it and shoves them into drawers._

_This is what he wants, right? Yeah. This is what he wants._

_****_

**Three years ago**

_“Hello. Is this Mr. Milkovich?”_

_“Uh, yeah.” Mickey answers the unknown woman who called his phone._

_“This is Hailey at Mercy Hospital. You’re listed as Phillip Gallagher’s emergency contact.”_

_Mickey’s heart stops. “Oh fuck. What happened? Is he okay?” He asks desperately._

_“He was admitted with alcohol poisoning. His stomach was pumped and he’s resting now.”_

_“Okay. Okay, good. I’ll be right there.” Mickey says quickly before hanging up the phone and running to his car._

_He makes it to the hospital in record time. He sprints to the room number the receptionist tells him, freezing when he sees Lip sitting up and eating jello._

_He takes a deep breath, trying to slow his rapid pulse. Once he calms down he storms in and yanks the jello out of Lip’s hand._

_“What the hell, man?” Lip cries._

_“You scared me. People who scare me lose their jello privileges.” Mickey says, slurping the jello out of the cup._

_Lip pouts, crossing his arms and Mickey ignores that he finds it adorable. They sit in silence for a long time before Mickey decides to speak up._

_“So, we gonna talk about this?” Mickey prompts._

_Lip’s brows furrow. “Talk about what?”_

_“This isn’t the first time you’ve almost drank yourself into a coma in the past month. In fact, it’s happened a lot. What’s going on?”_

_Lip scoffs. “Like you’ve never drank too much.”_

_“Oh I have.” Mickey agrees. “Way too often and that’s why I know that I only drink that much when I have a problem. So what’s your problem?”_

_Lip doesn’t answer, eyes staring straight ahead like he’s thinking. Finally, he answers. “I don’t think I have a problem.”_

_Mickey sighs. “Shit.”_

_Lip’s head snaps toward Mickey. “What? What is it?”_

_“You know anyone who drinks too much without any problem to drown?”_

_Lip snorts. “Yeah, Frank.” He says before his eyes go wide._

_“NO. Mickey, I’m fine. I’m not an alcoholic.” Lip says frantically._

_“Lip, I just think-” Mickey starts but is interrupted._

_“No. I’m fine. I just got carried away. That’s all.”_

_“Lip. C’mon. I-”_

_“Shut up! Leave! I’m fine. You don’t know what your talking about.” Lip argues._

_Mickey stands up and takes a step toward Lip’s bed._

_“Lip.”_

_“NO!”_

_Mickey puts hand on Lip’s arm. “Dude, hey, look at me.”_

_Lip’s huge, lemur eyes that Mickey used to find stupid but now he finds beautiful, glance up at him._

_“It’s me, okay? I’m not trying to make you do anything, right? Let’s just cool it with the booze for a while, yeah?”_

_Lip nods minutely. “Okay.” He whispers._

_Mickey nods back, placing a kiss on Lip’s forehead before sitting back down._

_*_

_Mickey taps his foot anxiously, waiting on his lunch date to arrive. Finally, the door opens and she strolls over._

_“Finally. Geez, Fiona. I’ve been here for almost an hour.” Mickey complains._

_“I know. I know. Sorry.” Fiona apologizes. “What do you need to talk about that couldn’t wait until family dinner tomorrow?” She asks._

_Mickey takes a deep breath. “It’s Lip.”_

_Fiona face takes on a look of confusion and concern. “What about Lip?”_

_“He’s, uh, he’s got an alcohol problem.”_

_Fiona scoffs. “We’ve all got an alcohol problem.” She jokes, but stops when she sees the serious look on Mickey’s face. “What do you mean?”_

_“He’s gotten his stomach pumped three times in the last two months. He’s drunk constantly. And his CFO at work called me yesterday to ask what his deal was and said that the company is about to go under. He needs help.” Mickey explains._

_Fiona nods, eyes glazing over. “Okay.” She agrees. “We’ll get him help.”_

_****_

**Two years and six months ago**

_Mickey and Lip are high. Like really high. Like what’s real, what’s fake, what’s life, high. They get high a lot these days. It’s a safer substitute so Lip doesn’t have the urge to drink as much. Mickey hasn’t been drinking as much either so they’ve turned to pot as their nightly ritual._

_Right now, they’re just laying side by side, looking up at the faded star stickers that Mandy put on her ceiling when she was fifteen._

_Mickey’s thoughts about stars and the universe are halted when Lip starts giggling._

_“What? What’s funny?” Mickey asks lazily, not even bothering to look toward Lip._

_“You ever think about us? How weird this is?” He asks._

_“What do you mean?” Mickey inquires._

_“You know. We’re like together, but we’re not. We live together, but we don’t. And we call each other dude instead of babe or sweetie.”_

_Mickey laughs at that last part. “You’re right. It’s like our nickname or some shit.”_

_Lip snorts. “Jesus Christ. We’re like frat bros that fuck each other.”_

_Mickey grins, finally turning to look at Lip. “I kinda like it though.” He says quietly._

_“Yeah.” Lip chuckles. “I kinda like it, too.”_

_****_

**Two years ago**

_Lip’s leg bounces anxiously as he waits for Mickey to get home. He has something he wants to tell him, but he’s nervous as to how he will take it. He is Mickey after all and he hates change and this would be a big change._

_The door swings open and in walks Mickey in all his greasy, post shift at the car garage, glory. Lip takes in his hot, sweaty state before he shakes his head and remembers the script._

_“Hey, Mickey. Sit down for a sec.” Lip says._

_Mickey arches an eyebrow, but grabs a beer and takes a seat. “What’s up?”_

_“I, uh, I have something to tell you, but I don’t want you to freak out, okay?” Lip says gently._

_“What are you talking about? I never freak out.” Mickey says confidently._

_“Are you kidding me? That’s your go-to move. You always freak ou-." Lip stops himself. "Never mind. That’s not the point.” Lip continues._

_“So what is the point?” Mickey asks._

_“I’m making good money now. My company is stable. So I want to buy a house. Like a nice house to live in. For us to live in.”_

_Mickey rolls his eyes and takes a chug of his beer. “Hell yeah. This apartment’s a shit hole and we have too much stuff here. Why would I freak out about you buying us a fucking house?”_

_Lip scoffs. “Why wouldn’t I think you’d freak out? We never even had a conversation about moving in here. You just slowly brought stuff over until all your belongings were here and you stopped going home. We never even had a relationship talk. For all I know, you’re fucking a billion other guys and I can’t say shit.”_

_Mickey snorts at his dramatic monologue. “Well, I’m not so you can cool it, Meryl Streep.”_

_Lip walks over and straddles Mickey’s lap. “God I hate you sometimes.” He teases._

_“Sure.” Mickey huffs. “That’s why you’re buying me a house.”_

_Lip smiles and leans in to kiss Mickey._

_“So, are we boyfriends then?” Lip asks._

_“Find a word that’s less gay, but sure.” Mickey shrugs, grin threatening to split his face._

****

**One year and six months ago**

_“Lip, put that down or I swear to God I’ll move out.” Mickey threatens._

_Lip laughs. “Mickey, I need you to prepare yourself for this, okay? I’m buying some fruit. I know you have some sort of proverbial reaction to it and you don’t have to eat it, but I’m going to buy it.” Lip says slowly. “So don’t make a scene in the grocery store or we’re gonna get thrown out again.”_

_Mickey crosses his arms, pouting like a small child whose mom just refused to buy cookies and Lip laughs._

_When Mickey remains silent for another five minutes, Lip rolls his eyes and picks up a box of poptarts, waving them in front of Mickey’s face. Mickey grins, grabbing the box and holding it close to his chest like its made of gold. Lip snorts and keeps shopping._

_“Yo. Mickey.” Someone calls. Mickey and Lip look up to see Iggy walking toward them. Mickey glances at Lip, internal panic clear on his face, but Lip nods at him, reassuring him that everything’s fine._

_“Where’ve you been, man?” Iggy asks, pulling Mickey into a quick ‘slap on the back, bro hug’. “Haven’t seen you around the house in forever.”_

_Mickey just shrugs, not responding so Lip steps in. “What’s up, Iggy?”_

_Iggy looks in his direction. “Gallagher? You guys friends or some shit?” Iggy smirks._

_Mickey’s eyes go wide but Lip answers before he has a chance to say anything._

_“Yeah.” Lip says, simply._

_“Okay.” Iggy says. “Well, you should come around some time, Mickey. Mandy misses you.”_

_Mickey nods and watches as Iggy turns as leaves. Mickey lets out the breath he had been holding since Iggy walked up. He looks toward Lip and sees him looking at pasta, like nothing happened._

_Lip feels Mickey’s gaze so he turns around. “You okay, dude?”_

_Mickey sighs. “You didn’t have to do that, you know. Pretend we’re just friends or whatever.”_

_Lip shrugs. “It’s no big deal.”_

_Mickey tilts his head. “You’re not mad?”_

_“Why would be mad? What? You’re supposed to come out to your brother in a grocery store?”_

_Mickey thinks for a second. “I guess not?” He says. “But I mean, I probably should eventually, right? Come out, I mean.”_

_Lip nods. “Sure. Whatever you want.”_

_“Don’t you want me to come out?” Mickey asks._

_Lip chuckles. “I want you to do whatever you want to do. Tell your family you're gay or you have a boyfriend or tell them nothing. I don’t have an opinion either way.” Lip explains._

_“Why not?”_

_“Look. This neighborhood’s shit and we never know who’s gonna be fine with it and who’s not. I’d never ask you do something that could get you hurt. You live with me and we’re together so I’m good. Anything else is your prerogative.” Lip says._

_Mickey nods, comforted by the fact that this is his choice. No deadline. No ultimatum. No pressure. His choice. His terms._

_*_

_Mickey is bouncing his leg anxiously, a habit he picked up from Lip, as he waits for his sister to arrive. He doesn’t know why he’s nervous because she already knows about him and Lip, but he still feels apprehensive._

_The door flies open and in rushes Mandy. “I’m late. I know I’m late. Get off my back.” She says quickly._

_Mickey shakes his head. “I didn’t even say anything yet.”_

_“You were gonna.” Mandy scoffs. Mickey laughs. Mandy’s presence calms his nerves. “What did you wanna talk about, doucheface?”_

_“Um. You know how I’m-. How I like-. I don’t-” Mickey stammers. Oof. He takes a deep breath and tries again. “I’m gay.”_

_Mandy stares at him. “Uh, yeah. I know…”_

_Mickey nods. “Right. You know that, but I wanted to come out, maybe? Like to everyone else?”_

_Mandy still looks confused. “Okay, cool, but who doesn’t know?” She asks._

_Mickey frowns. “What do you mean?”_

_“I mean, who do you see or talk to that doesn’t know already?” Mandy reiterates._

_Mickey snorts. “Um, everyone but you and the Gallaghers. Like Iggy or Colin or-”_

_“Iggy and Colin know, Mick.” Mandy interrupts._

_“What?” Mickey is shocked to say the least. “No they don’t.”_

_“Uh, yeah. They do. You’ve lived with Lip for like two and a half years. What? You think that they thought he was just a roommate?”_

_“I saw Iggy a week ago and he asked if me and Lip were friends.” Mickey says, clearly perplexed._

_Mandy gazes at Mickey for a second before she busts out laughing. “What? What’s so funny?” Mickey asks._

_“He was fucking messing with you, Mick.” She says._

_“What?”_

_“He did it to mess with you cause he knows you’re still weird about the whole gay thing even though everyone knows and is cool with it.”_

_“But Lip said-”_

_“Lip knows that Iggy knows.” Mandy says. “Iggy’s the one who helped him move the last of your stuff to your ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT, two years ago.”_

_Mandy laughs as she sees Mickey blush. “I just thought-”_

_“It’s okay, Mick. Lip knew you needed more time to accept yourself so he told us not to push.”_

_Mickey bites his lip to keep from grinning. Lip knew what he needed and didn’t make a big deal about it. Shit._

_“I gotta-” Mickey says, gesturing toward the door._

_“Go, Mick. Go to your guy.” Mandy teases._

_*_

_Mickey runs to his apartment like a man on a mission. He yanks open the door to find his boyfriend in front of the stove, cooking dinner._

_“Hey.” Lip greets simply, smiling over at Mickey. Mickey stalks over and instead of responding, he grabs his boyfriend’s face and attacks his lips._

_Lip goes with it for a second before he pulls back gently. “What was that for?” He grins._

_Mickey blushes. “You knew. You knew that Iggy already knew about us, but you didn’t say anything.”_

_Lip shrugs, going back to cooking. “You weren’t ready. I saw that Iggy was just messing with you, but you didn’t.”_

_Mickey hauls his boyfriend into another kiss to try to convey all the feelings he has trouble saying._

_“Thank you.” Mickey breathes, resting his forehead against Lip’s._

_“Anytime.” Lip dismisses._

_****_

**One Year Ago**

_Mickey walks through the front door of their house on the north side to see Lip sitting at the table, tapping his fingers nervously. Mickey rolls his eyes. Any time Lip has something remotely serious to talk about, he sits at the kitchen table and tells Mickey to ‘sit down, we need to talk’. Those words and demeanor that are usually used to break up with someone would worry Mickey if he didn’t know Lip. Mickey knows he shouldn’t be worried unless Lip starts to ghost his ass cause that’s how Lip breaks up with people._

_“Sit down. We need to talk.” Lip says seriously. Mickey has to bite back a laugh. Instead he humors Lip, sitting down and and taking on a look of sincerity._

_“I want to offer you something, but I don’t want you to get mad.” Lip says, slowly._

_“Okay.”_

_“My company is doing really well, right? We’re making a lot of money, much more than we need to live.” Lip explains. “And it’s becoming self-sustainable. I don’t even need to go in most days because most of my work can be done here from a computer.”_

_Mickey nods to encourage Lip to continue. He seems really nervous about whatever he’s about to ask so Mickey wants him to feel like it’s okay._

_“So, I wanted to know if you wanted to quit your job.” Lip says._

_“What?” Mickey asks._

_“Youdonthaveto.” Lip amends quickly. “But you could. We could spend our days here, watching tv and fucking and whatever.”_

_A smile slowly takes over Mickey’s face. “Okay.”_

_“Okay?” Lip’s eyes bug out of his head._

_“Yeah. Of course. Why would I want to keep busting my ass at the garage when I can stay here?”_

_Lip laughs in disbelief. “Shit. Okay. I thought you’d be pissed.”_

_Mickey scoffs. “Fuck no. I started being the family accountant at ten. I was constantly running side schemes to make up for my stupid ass brothers. Of course I’m ready to stop working.” Mickey explains before getting up and grabbing a beer._

_Lip snorts, shaking his head and grinning. “Mickey Milkovich. I just can’t figure you out.”_

_Mickey takes a swig of his drink and shrugs. “Good. I like to keep you on your toes.” He jokes._

_Mickey waggles his eyebrows at Lip before heading to their bedroom._

_“Where are you going?” Lip calls._

_Mickey turns around. “Shower.” He winks._

_Lip chuckles before jumping up and chasing after his boyfriend._


	5. Did You Really Think It Would Be The Same?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are their current ages in this verse. (Who actually knows the age difference between all of them so I just did what I wanted)
> 
> Fiona/Iggy 27  
> Lip/Mickey 23  
> Ian/Mandy 22  
> Debbie 19  
> Carl 18  
> Liam 10 (Maybe 8 years difference b/t him and Carl is a stretch BUT IT'S MY FIC SO GET OFF MY BACK)
> 
> Also, Kev, Vee, Svetlana, and Yevgeny won't be in this fic just fyi.

“Ouch.”

Fiona shoots up in bed, the sound of someone dropping something jarring her awake. She listens for a second and hears more shuffling. She hops out of bed and grabs the bat on her descent down the stairs.

She sees a figure moving in the kitchen and tip toes over. She raises the bat as she reaches for the light. Fluorescent bulbs bright the room to reveal Ian picking his book bag up off the floor. 

“Ian?” Fiona whispers, not trusting her own mind at what she’s seeing right now. 

Ian spins around, eyes going comically wide when he sees Fiona before dashing for the door. Fiona latches a hand on his collar to prevent him from going further.

“Hell no you don’t.” She spits, opening the door and shoving him down to sit on the stairs. 

He focuses on his hands, waiting for Fiona to start yelling at him but it never comes. 

“Explain yourself.” Fiona says simply, one brow arched as she waits for Ian’s official statement. 

Ian nods. “Where do I begin?” 

“How about when you left, six years ago?” Fiona suggests, punctuating the end with a swift punch to the shoulder. 

Ian shrugs. “Mickey had been sent to juvie again and before he went he said some rough things. I felt alone and I wanted to start somewhere new.”

Fiona nods, listening and waiting for him to continue.

“So, I went to the army. But I was only sixteen and they found out after six months and told me to just leave and they wouldn’t press charges. After that, I couch surfed for a while. Made friends at clubs and stayed at their apartments until they kicked me out. About four years ago, I had my first breakdown.”

“Bipolar?” Fiona asks. “Lip told me.” She adds when Ian looks at her. 

“Yeah. Got meds but I didn’t take them. Found Monica after that and lived with her for a while. Guess my mind thought that being with her was the exact opposite of taking the meds and I wanted to rebel.”

Fiona grabs his hand. She’s pissed, but she wants to express to him that she stills cares, not to mention that she can feel what’s coming next.

“She ditched me, obviously, after three months. Didn’t even say goodbye or leave a note. Just left.” His eyes start to water. “I know it’s happened before, but this time I was alone. I didn’t have Lip or you to tell me that it was okay.” 

Fiona’s heart breaks at the look on Ian’s face. He always took Monica’s actions the hardest and she can’t imagine how bad it was for him to be by himself.

“I spiraled after that. Was high or drunk or both most of the time. I worked at a strip club to make money for the drugs and lived like that for almost a year. I went back to the hospital when my boss found me passed out in the alley behind the club. Ever since then I’ve been taking my meds.”

“That still leaves almost two years, Ian. Why didn’t you come back to us? Or at least let us know that you were alive?” Fiona questions.

Ian shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know.” Ian says honestly. “I guess by the I got my shit together, it had been so long that I figured you had moved on without me. I didn’t want to come crashing back into your lives.” 

“Ian.” Fiona sighs. “You are always welcome to crash my life.”

Ian lets out a huff that’s more snot than laugh. 

“Seriously. I thought about you everyday that you’ve been gone. You’re one of my kids.” She says. “You’ll always be one of my kids.” She opens her arms to pull Ian into a hug. They sit there embracing each other for while before Fiona decides to just rip off the next band-aid.

“Wanna talk about the elephant in the room?” She asks, quietly. Ian pulls back and looks her right in the eye. 

“I don’t know, do I?” He asks genuinely. 

“Depends.” Fiona shrugs. “Was six years enough to get over Mickey?”

Ian scoffs. “I thought so, but as soon as I saw him I realized that I haven’t been living my true life for the past six years. I put my real life on pause and as soon as I saw him again, everything came rushing back.”

Fiona sighs, prompting Ian to look at her in question. “What?” 

“I don’t know what to tell you, sweetface. They’ve been together for almost five years. They’re serious.”

“How did that even happen?” Ian asks.

“Truly I have no clue. All of a sudden, Mickey was around all the time and living with Lip and no one really said anything, but he’s family now.” Fiona explains. 

Ian runs a hand down his face. “Fuck. What the fuck do I do?”

“You deal.” Fiona quips. “You suck it up and let your brother be happy, because he is. They’re happy. Like annoying, in your face, happy.”

Ian huffs. “Easier said than done.”

“I know, kiddo, but it’s what has to happen.” Fiona confirms. “You should talk to him though. Lip, I mean. Get everything out on the table so we can move on, as a family, you included.”

*

Ian taps his fingers anxiously on the restaurant table as he waits for Lip to arrive. He was surprised at how easily Lip agreed to meet, but Lip never really did hold grudges. 

Lip walks through the door and spots Ian immediately. He strolls over and plops into the seat across from him. 

“What’s up, bro.” He greets.

Ian nods. “Hey.” 

Lip orders a drink and then turns back to Ian, arching one eyebrow in a move so much like Mickey that Ian’s stomach flips. 

“I owe you an apology.” Ian pushes out. “I shouldn’t have punched you.”

“We’re cool.” Lip says. “You were shocked. Who wouldn’t be?” 

“Yeah, well it was still a shit move.” Ian provides. 

They sit in silence for while, eating the food that was brought and glancing at each other occasionally. Finally, Ian decides to just bite the bullet.

“Fuck. Just tell me about you and Mickey.” He groans. 

Lip laughs at how unconvincing that statement was. 

“I don’t know, man. It just kinda happened.” Lip says. “We were just fucking for a while, but one day Mickey started leaving stuff around my apartment and so I gave him a key and it all just went from there.” 

Ian nods, taking in the information. “When did he come out?”

Lip snorts. “He didn’t.”

“He’s still in closet?” Ian says in disbelief.

“No.” Lip shakes his head. “I just mean he never really told anyone. Everybody just figured it out because we were living together in a one-bedroom apartment.” 

“Wow.” Ian states. “He’s biggest fear in the world and it just fizzled.” Ian can’t believe it. 

“So you’re gay then?” Ian asks.

Lip chuckles. “I don’t know. I like Mickey, but I’ve never been with another guy so.” He shrugs. Lip sees the look on Ian’s face for a moment so he gets serious. “You’re allowed to be mad, Ian. It won’t change anything and I wish you wouldn’t punch me again, but you’re allowed to be mad.” He says.

Ian sighs. “It’s too late, isn’t it? It’s been too long for me to be mad. As much as I wanted it, me and Mickey were nothing and now its seems like you two are everything. It’s hard for me to be mad at that.”

Ian looks down at the table. The truth is that he doesn’t even know if he’s mad. It’s been so long since he faced his thoughts about Mickey. How is he supposed to know how he feels right now?

“Well that’s good then, right? We can just be brothers again. No weirdness maybe.” Lip suggests. 

“I’d like that.” Ian smiles softly.

The waitress brings their check and Lip pays, telling Ian all about his company. 

“Oh, you should come see my set-up.” Lip says excitedly. “My office at home has this huge computer monitor, like the biggest you’ve ever seen. It’s amazing.”

Ian grins at how passionate Lip is about his work so he agrees. Lip drives them over to his house and parks the car. 

As soon as the door opens and Ian’s about to step over the threshold, he realizes that this means he has to see Mickey again. Shit. He’s not ready. 

There, sitting on the couch, is Mickey, in all his sweatpants and tank top glory. 

“The fuck is he doing here?” Mickey spits, standing up.

“Chill out, Mickey. He’s my brother, ya know?” Lip says, cupping Mickey’s cheek briefly before going to the kitchen to grab a drink. 

“Look, I di-” Ian starts, only to be stopped by Mickey’s sharp glare. 

“You think you can just waltz in here after you punched my fucking-. My-. Lip.” Mickey finally forces out. 

Ian shakes his head at how familiar Mickey’s inability to even call Lip his boyfriend is. 

Lip walks back in and hands Ian a water, completely unphased by Mickey’s emotional constipation. 

“Don’t mind him.” Lip says to Ian. “You’re back so he’s regressing.” 

Mickey flips Lip off and turns back to Ian. “He took one intro to psych class freshman year and now he thinks he’s Dr. Phil.”

“You didn’t even graduate high school, so….” Lip spits back. 

“I’m a housewife, bitch.” Mickey snaps. “I only have to know how to wash a dish, suck a dick and order takeout. And guess what? I’m three for three, asshole.” 

Lip laughs loudly as Ian furrows his brow at their easy banter. It reminds Ian of what he and Mickey had, but back then there were no witnesses. No one got to see them together like he was seeing now. 

“Why don’t you put those skills to work then and order us some pizza?” Lip teases. 

Mickey scoffs, but picks up his phone. “The usual?” He asks Lip. Lip nods and goes to change in something more comfortable than the button up and jeans he wore to lunch.

Mickey hangs up the phone and plops back down the couch, turning his attention back to the crime show playing on TV. Ian looks around, lost in this world that was built while he was gone. He gathers the courage he needs and speaks up. 

“Mickey. Can I talk to you? One on one?” He asks. 

Mickey squints and tilts his head, studying Ian like he’s searching for the motive behind this action. When comes up short, he nods and follows Ian out onto the porch. 

They sit on the stairs in silence for a while, watching cars go by and avoiding the other’s gaze.

“You know why this sucks for me, right?” Ian whispers, still not looking in Mickey’s direction. 

“Yeah.” Mickey breathes. “I do.” 

“This was all I ever wanted for us, but you shut me down over and over again. And now I come back and find that you have all of that and more with Lip?” Ian continues. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Mickey says. 

“Why? Why him and not me?” 

Mickey bites his lip. He can hear Ian’s heart crumbling beside him, but that doesn’t change how he feels. “It wasn’t on purpose, Ian. I came out of juvie and you had left. Me and Lip had drunken sex and it led to us being fuck buddies. That’s all either of us wanted back then.”

“Isn’t that what we were?” Ian points out.

“C’mon, Ian. You wanted more for us after that first time you came crashing into my room. Lip didn’t. We just fucked for a year, never pushing to be anything more. If he would’ve asked for us to be boyfriends or whatever back then, I might’ve shut him down too.” Mickey says. 

Ian nods, still conflicted as to how he’s supposed to feel. 

“You’re allowed to be mad, ya know? It just won’t change anything between me and you.”

Ian snorts. “Lip said the same thing.” 

“Yeah, he’s a know-it-all like that.” Mickey laughs.

“So you really are happy?” Ian asks. 

Mickey smiles, wide and honest in a way that Ian’s never seen and it breaks his heart the rest of the way. “Yeah. I am.” Mickey answers, simply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This shit still good?


	6. How Did I Hurt You When I Wasn't Even Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family dinner causes more to be revealed and feelings are hurt, but what else is new?

Two weeks have gone by since Ian returned, and everyone has fallen back into their routines. Ian is living at Fiona’s until he’s settled into his life here and has money for a place.

It’s all very surreal for Ian. He feels like he’s fifteen again, living in the same house with virtually all the same people. He wakes up every morning and has to remind himself that he’s actually 22.

Ian is roused out of sleep by the sound of chatter downstairs. He gets out of bed and makes his way down to the kitchen.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Fiona greets with a bright smile. “I have you some breakfast ready.”

Fiona has been a bit of hoverer, but Ian finds that he doesn’t quite mind it. No one has really cared about him for six years. He’s missed that sense of belonging to something.

“Don’t forget we have family dinner tonight.” She announces to the room, only to be met with mumbles from Debbie and Carl.

“Family dinner?” Ian asks.

“Oh, that’s right! You haven’t been to one yet.” Fiona notices. “We started having family dinner every two weeks a few years ago. It was our way of keeping Lip in our life.” She explains.

“Okay.” Ian nods.

“Well, I’m off to work.” She says. “Ian, make sure Carl actually goes to school. He’s only got two more months until he gets his diploma.”

“Only one semester late. I’m as smart as Lip.” Carl jokes dryly.

Ian laughs, hugging Fiona goodbye and assuring her that he’ll walk Carl to school personally.

*

“You didn’t actually have to walk with me, ya know?”

“Yeah, well, I promised Fi and besides, we haven’t really talked since I’ve been back. What did I miss?”

Carl scoffs. “I don’t know, man. Nothing much, really. Frank ruins things. Fiona works a lot. Lip makes too much money. Mickey’s grumpy. Debbie’s had like ten boyfriends. And Liam’s just Liam.”

Ian can’t help but notice that Mickey was included in that family roll call. It makes him feel weird that not only is Mickey in a relationship with Lip, but he also has a relationship with all of the Gallaghers. He’s really family now, maybe even more so than Ian because he’s actually been here.

“So Mickey’s part of the family.”

“Yeah, dude. Lip’s boyfriend. Longest relationship any of us have been in.” Carl says nonchalantly, unaware that every time someone mentions that, Ian receives another stab to the heart.

*

Ian takes a lot of walks these days. Being back is overwhelming and he’s still adjusting so he likes to take a walk to clear his head and have some time alone.

Right now he’s taking a walk because family dinner is about to start and Lip and Mickey are on their way over. Ian has to spend a whole night just watching them be together and he has to pretend that it doesn’t feel just awful to see.

He walks back in the door and is slammed by the noise inside. He never realized how loud the Gallaghers are until he spent half a decade without them. Fiona is talking constantly and Debbie and Carl spend most of their time arguing. The noise makes Ian feel like he’s drowning sometimes.

His eyes wander toward the kitchen and land on Lip and Mickey, setting the table together, smiling at each other all the while. Ian has to stop and take a breath to keep himself from freaking out.

Fiona looks at him strangely, like she’s trying to read his emotions so he excuses himself to the bathroom before she can figure it out.

He locks himself inside the upstairs restroom and stares at his reflection in the mirror. Why does this hurt so much? He’s been gone for six years. Why is that not enough time to get over someone? Ian splashes water on his face, trying to snap himself out of it before exiting the bathroom and heading back downstairs.

“Ian, just in time. Sit. Sit.” Fiona commands. Ian takes a seat in between Debbie and Carl and across from Fiona, Lip and Mickey. In hindsight he wishes he wasn’t facing the couple head on, but it’d be weird to move now so he stays put.

They talk about random stuff for a while. Carl’s latest antic that got him detention and Debbie’s newest boyfriend. Ian tunes most of it out, stuck in his own mind.

Ian’s complete focus is on Lip and Mickey. They aren’t affectionate in the typical sense. He hasn’t seen them make out on the couch like teenagers or hold hands while watching a movie, but they are always touching.

When Ian first sat down, Lip was telling Mickey a story about work and the whole time he was talking, his hand was gripping Mickey’s forearm. It was like he tapped Mickey’s arm to get his attention and then never let go.

Now, while eating lasagna, Mickey’s arm is resting on the back of Lip’s chair, his hand rubbing the base of Lip’s neck and the top of his shoulders.

Suddenly, Fiona asks a question that grabs his attention.

“Mickey, any news on where Mandy is?”

Mickey shakes his head. “Nah, and we keep calling her but no one ever picks up.” He looks really sad and it confuses Ian so he speaks up.

“She was in Evanston last time I met with her, but that was two weeks ago. Though I helped her move there like a year ago I don’t think she’d just leave without telling me.” Ian says casually.

Lip and Fiona’s eyes go wide as everyone at the table freezes. Mickey looks up at Ian slowly, an unreadable expression on his face before he shoves back from the table aggressively and bolts out the door. Lip jumps up to follow him.

“What? What did I do?” Ian asks frantically.

“How do you know where Mandy is?” Fiona asks.

“We’ve stayed in touch.” Ian says before taking in the hurt looks on Carl and Debbie’s faces.

“You talked to Mandy while you were gone, but you didn’t call us?” Debbie asks in a small voice.

Ian struggles to find words. “I-. Well, I didn’t-.” He stammers. Before he can formulate a sentence both Carl and Debbie get up from the table and run upstairs.

Fiona levels him with a look of anger and pity that only she can pull off.

“They called her when I was in the hospital the first time. She put herself as my emergency contact that day I broke my arm sophomore year. I stayed with her for a week before I bolted with Monica, but I talked to her every now and then. It was easier, ya know?” Ian explains, tears filling his eyes.

 “I understand.” Fiona nods. “But those kids don’t.” Fiona continues, gesturing toward the stairs. “They love you and look up to you so you get why this crushes them, right?”

Ian nods, tears rolling down his cheeks. Fiona stands, walking over to sit beside him.

“I didn’t mean to-“ Ian starts, but his sentence is interrupted by sobs.

“I know, baby. I know.” Fiona comforts pulling him into her arms. “I know.”

*

Lip walks outside and finds Mickey pacing behind the house. He sits on the stairs and waits for Mickey to be ready to talk. It usually takes about ten minutes, so Lip settles in, watching Mickey exhaust all of his emotions. First he paces nervously. Then he kicks at the ground angrily. Then he calls Mandy desperately. Before he finally sits down between Lip’s knees on the stairs, resting his head on Lip’s thigh.

“It’s not fair.” Mickey mumbles. Lip nods even though Mickey can’t see him. “I’m her brother. Ian left her, but she still talks to him before she’ll talk to me. It’s bullshit.”

“You’re right.” Lip confirms.

“I mean, I get that she was mad, but a year? A whole year? Won’t even text me that she’s okay.”

“At least now you know that she’s okay.” Lip provides.

“Yeah. From fucking Ian. Ian!” Mickey says the name like it’s preposterous. “He’s a stupid ditcher. He leaves when things don’t go his way. I stay. I stay and I help her with everything. Then we have one little fight and she leaves. Won’t talk to me, but she’ll talk to him.” Mickey rants. “Maybe they deserve each other. Stupid ditchers.”

Mickey stops talking and Lip pulls Mickey against his chest. Now comes the last step in the cycle. The one that neither of them like. The breakdown.

“It’s not fair.” Mickey says weakly, holding onto Lip’s sweater as he pushes his face into Lip’s chest, failing to keep his tears at bay.

“You’re right.” Lip agrees, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s hair and rubbing his hand up and down his back. “It’s not fair.”

*

Ian pulls back from Fiona’s chest as he has a realization.

“Wait. Why was Mickey so upset?” In the mist of his meltdown, Ian forgot who stormed out first.

Fiona hangs her head. “Mickey hasn’t seen Mandy in a year.” Fiona explains. “They had a fight about her latest boyfriend and she stormed out. She stayed gone for a few days and Mickey thought she was just pouting, but then it was weeks and months and Mickey and Iggy were starting to assume the worst.”

Ian stares, wide eyed as he processes this information.

“And then you…” Fiona trails off.

“And then I casually mention that I saw Mandy two weeks ago and” Ian adds.

“And it stabs him in the heart.” Fiona finishes.

“Fuck.” Ian breathes. “I had no clue. I would’ve never-. We didn’t ever talk about Mickey and I just assumed it was because she knew I wouldn’t want to.”

“I know.” Fiona assures him. “and Mickey knows that too.”

Ian looks at her and can tell that she’s lying just to comfort him.

“No he doesn’t.” Ian argues. “You all think the worst of me now, but I deserve that. It’s my fault.”

Fiona tries to speak again, but Ian gets up, walking up the stairs and into his room.

Ian strips down to his boxers and lies in bed. Coming home was even harder than he thought he would be.

*

“Ian, my darling, to whom do I thank for the honor of this phone call?”

Ian laughs, rolling his eyes at Mandy’s dramatics. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“Well, pardon me. I forget that being a hermit is such a busy life style.” She teases.

“Yeah. Yeah. Joke all you want. I called to see if you’re free for coffee today.”

“Anything for you, my love.” She sings.

“Awesome! Meet me at the Starbucks off Lee St in twenty, yeah?”

“I’ll be there.”

*

Ian sits at a small table in the back corner, sipping his coffee and waiting for Mandy. She rushes in the door like a whirlwind, always late to every appointment she makes. She sits in the chair across from Ian and he pushes her drink in front of her.

“Mmm, thank you.” She smiles. “So what’s up? Why the impromptu meeting?”

“Well, I’ve actually got big news. Not a hermit anymore.”

“You met someone?” Mandy asks excitedly.

“No. No. I, uh, I came home. I’m back at Fiona’s.”

Mandy’s face drops, but Ian expected that. “So, uh, you know?” She asks weakly.

“Oh, which part? The fact that Mickey’s in love with my brother or that you haven’t been talking to anyone but me for the past year?” Ian asks, eyebrows raised.

Mandy bites her lip nervously, unsure of what to say next. Ian pities her position and speaks again.

“Look, I’m not actually mad, but c’mon, Mandy. You never said anything.”

“In my defense, you never asked about Mickey, or Lip for that matter. I never lied.” Mandy justifies.

“Well, I’m glad your conscience is clean.” Ian snarls. “Didn’t work out to well for me though when I show up at Lip’s house and he and Mickey are making out on the couch.”

Mandy giggles before immediately slapping her hands over her mouth. “You didn’t?”

“Oh, but I fucking did.” Ian responds. “Your brother bolted, predictably, and then Lip told me that they were together, as in five year anniversary together, so I punched him in the face.”

Mandy leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. “Why is your life so much more interesting than mine?”

Ian slaps his hands on the table. “Are you serious right now, Mandy?”

“Well, before you throw yourself a real nice pity party, don’t forget that I had to watch that relationship progress and Lip is my ex too, I’ll remind you. You think that wasn’t weird? I’m the one that turned him gay probably.” She jokes.

Ian laughs, shaking his head at his best friend. “What the fuck is going on, Mands?”

Mandy reaches across the table and grabs Ian’s hands. “People run from us, Ian. They fucking sprint.” She teases.

“From what I can tell, we’re the runners.” Ian corrects. Mandy looks down at the table, so Ian lifts her chin with his fingers.

“Wanna tell me why you’re icing your brothers out?” He asks.

“No.” Mandy pouts, making Ian grin. “It’s just-. Mickey thinks he’s so smart. Why can’t he just let me figure out that a guy is shit on my own. He always storms in telling me how I deserve more or blah blah blah. Maybe I do deserve more, sure, but more isn’t exactly knocking down my door, ya know?”

Ian nods. “I know, Mands.”

“I didn’t mean for it to go this long, but every time I thought about it I got mad. Though now, saying it out loud, I feel dumb.”

“Maybe you should have told me earlier, yeah?” Ian grins.

“Oh, shut up.” She grumbles. Ian stares at her, right into her soul until she cracks. “Fine, I’ll call him. Geez. You’re such a nag.”

Ian smiles. Mandy always makes him feel normal, like the realest version of himself. Maybe that’s why he found her easier to be around than his family for all this time.


	7. Didn't You Know That I Could Never Say Gone?

Mickey is ripped from sleep by the sound of his phone ringing. He jolts at the loud noise and the movement wakes Lip, who is lying on his chest. Lip’s head snaps up.

“What?”

“Shh. It’s just my phone. Go back to sleep.” Mickey whispers, reaching blindly for his phone. He looks at the screen to see who it is and jumps as he reads the name. He hits Lip on the back frantically. “It’s Mandy! Holy shit, it’s Mandy.”

“Answer it then.” Lip says, pulling the blanket over his head and never once opening his eyes.

“Hello?” Mickey greets loudly. There’s a pause long enough for Mickey’s heart to drop. Did she call by accident? Or hang up once she heard him speak? Finally, a voice squeaks out.

“Hey Mick.”

Mickey lets out a breath that he thinks he’s been holding for a year.

“Holy fuck, Mandy.”

“I know.” She says, sheepishly. “I’m sorry.” She offers. “I didn’t plan on staying gone or icing you out. I just let myself spiral…” She trails off.

“It’s okay.” He assures her. “As long as you’re safe and happy.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She pauses again, clearly working herself up to something. “I, uh. I’m outside your house.”

Mickey sits up swiftly, jolting Lip who has fallen back asleep despite this shocking development. He jumps out of bed and runs to the door. He whips it open to reveal his sister standing there, shame clear on her face.

“Fuck you.” Mickey breathes, pulling her into a hug. “I fucking missed you, you bitch.” He says, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Mandy huffs out a laugh. “I missed you too, Mick.”

He brings her back to his and Lip’s bedroom and they lay side by side talking about all she's missed. Lip tucks himself back under Mickey’s arm, still dozing.

“Can I ask you something?” Mickey asks quietly, after he and Mandy have been lying there for an hour.

“Of course, Mick.” Mandy nods.

“Why Ian? Why could you talk to him and not me? And why didn’t you tell his family that he was okay, alive even?”

Mandy sighs, resting her head on Mickey’s shoulder. “When I first found him, he was in a really bad place. He had just been diagnosed bipolar and he wasn’t taking it well. By the time he finally got stable, I had been talking to him for two years and he begged me not to say anything. What was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Mands. But you get why it hurts, right? I had to hear from fucking Ian that you were alive.”

“Yeah.” Mandy nods. “How are you doing with that, by the way? Seeing him again after all this time?”

Mickey glances down at Lip, still fast asleep on his chest. “I’m fine.” He answers honestly. “Ian left and took whatever we had with him. I’m all in with this fucker now.” He says, running a hand through Lip’s curls. “Ian being back doesn’t change that.”

Mandy smiles. “Wish Ian would’ve told me he was coming back and I would’ve warned him about you two. Coulda saved Lip from a punch to the face.”

Mickey scoffs. “Lip wasn’t even bothered. You know how those fucking Gallaghers are. They actually love each other or some shit.”

Mandy laughs. “Yeah, what the fuck is that about?”

The siblings smile, falling back into a comfortable silence.

“Ya know, no matter what happened, I’m glad you’re back, Mands.”

“Yeah, I’m glad to be back.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, each with a grin on their face. This right here is what Mickey lives for, falling asleep knowing that the two people he loves the most are safe.

*

Lip jumps up the stairs and through the door of the house he grew up in. He sees Fiona cleaning up the breakfast mess and plops down at the table.

“Hey Lip!” Fiona greets. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Lip grins, but it falls to something more serious quickly. “I wanted to talk to you. About Ian.” He says.

Fiona faces morphs to something he can’t quite place. “What about Ian?”

“Everything. How’s he been doing, to start?”

Fiona takes the seat across from Lip. “Good, I think. He’s quiet, like super quiet. And he takes a lot of walks by himself.” She says. “I don’t think he really talks to anyone besides me and Mandy. I’m kinda worried about him, honestly.”

Lip nods, leaning back in his chair. “I feel like I don’t him anymore, ya know? I don’t what he needs or how to help him.”

“Help who?” Ian asks, bounding down the staircase. “Mickey okay?”

Ian realizes his mistake as Lip’s eyes harden, studying him closely. “Mickey’s fine.” Lip says slowly. “We were talking about you.” He adds bluntly.

“Lip!” Fiona scolds through her teeth before turning to Ian with a sweet smile. “Just wondering if you were okay.”

Ian nods. “I’m fine.” He says briefly. “Gotta go.” He turns and walks swiftly to the door.

“Go where?” Fiona asks, but the door shuts before Ian can answer. She turns back to Lip, slapping his chest. “What the fuck?”

“What did I do?”

“He asked about Mickey and you got all territorial.” Fiona reprimands. “Like Ian doesn’t think we hate him enough.”

“He thinks we hate him?” Lip questions.

“Oh fuck off.” Fiona rolls her eyes. “You do hate him. You think he’s gonna try and steal Mickey from you.”

“No! I don’t th-“

Fiona holds a hand up. “Save the sales pitch for someone who’s buying it.”

Lip huffs, watching as Fiona gathers her things.

“I gotta go to work. Watch Liam today, okay?”

Lip nods, already deep in his own thoughts. Does he really think that? Mickey wouldn’t leave him for Ian. He’s over those doubts, right?

*

“Lip, is that you?” Mickey calls when he hears the door open. He’s in the laundry room folding clothes when he feels the soft pitter patter of someone running through the house. He turns and sees Liam’s bright smile just in time for him to crash into his legs.

Liam giggles, soft and sweet. “Mickey!”

“Hey little man.” Mickey greets, lifting Liam up and placing him on the dryer. “Wanna help me with clothes?”

Liam nods excitedly. He loves to do anything with Mickey, even chores.

Lip watches the two interact for a minute before joining in. He walks over and slips his arms around Mickey’s waist, kissing his cheek briefly and then hoisting himself up to sit beside Liam.

“So what are we doing today, Liam?” Lip asks, pulling Liam into his lap to smother him with kisses.

Liam laughs, pushing at Lip’s face. “Stop it, Pip.” He breathes out between laughs. He started calling him ‘Pip’ when he was little and had trouble with ‘L’s. Fiona thought it was hilarious and just let it stick.

Lip smiles, but pulls back, giving Liam time to catch his breath. “What the plan, boss?” He asks Mickey.

“Well, I was thinking we could go to park, maybe?” Mickey suggests, looking at Liam, whose face lights up.

“Yeah! Park!” He cheers, fists pumping into the air.

“Then it’s settled.” Mickey nods with finality. “Help me finish these clothes and we’ll go!”

*

“Hey, stranger.” Mandy greets. It’s been two weeks since they last saw each other.

Ian smiles, giving her a hug before plopping down on her couch.

“What have you been up to?” She asks.

Ian shrugs. “Nothing really. Just been sitting around, watching my family live their lives.”

“Any reason you’re not really living yours?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought coming back would make everything fall into place for me, but it didn’t. Instead I just feel like I’m in everyone’s way. They probably wish I stayed gone.”

“Yikes, Ian. That’s a little dark, even for you. You doing okay?” Mandy says.

“Whatever.” Ian breathes. “I’ll be fine.” He gets up, grabbing his coat and Mandy’s brows furrow.

“Are you leaving? You just got here.” She says.

“I’m tired.” Is all Ian offers as explanation before shuffling out of the apartment.

Mandy watches him leave, picking up her phone as soon as the door closes behind him.

“Hey, Fi. I’m worried about Ian.”

*

It’s Saturday. Family dinner time. These used to be nights that Fiona looked forward to, having all her favorite people in a house together. But now she feels like each dinner is a time bomb. Someone could say something at any moment that sets the night on fire. And there’s not much damage control to be done when a Gallagher or Milkovich gets upset.

She looks at the table and sees everyone sitting there except for Ian.

“You guys seen Ian anywhere?” She asks the group.

“He was asleep when I left at twelve.” Carl offers.

“And his door was still closed when I got home from work at four.” Debbie adds.

Fiona looks toward the stairs with concern before heading up to Ian’s room. She pushes the door open lightly and spots him curled up in bed, facing the wall.

Her mind flashes back to all the times that she saw Monica in this same position, but she tries to shove down the fear.

“Ian?” She calls softly. “You want dinner?”

“Go away.” He responds.

“You okay?” She asks, moving to run a hand over his forehead, but as soon as her skin makes contact with his, his body flails. She screams involuntarily, prompting the brigade to rush up the stairs.

“Fiona!” Lip yells, running into the room. He sees Ian, throwing things around the room and Fiona cowered in the corner. “Ian, what the fuck?”

There are tears streaming down his face as he breaks a vase by kicking the nightstand.

“What the fuck?” Mickey reiterates quieter, as he stands beside Lip. His voice seems to break Ian out of his trance. His head turns slowly toward Mickey.

They stand there, staring at each other while everyone else watches the exchange. The moment is broken by Ian stumbling over and latching onto Mickey, wrapping his arms around Mickey’s neck.

“Mickey.” He breathes, clutching Mickey tightly even though Mickey keeps his arms pinned to his sides. “I love you. I need you. Don’t leave me.” Ian sobs.

Mickey looks over at Lip pleadingly. Lip’s eyes are wide, a hurt look plastered to his face. Before Mickey can say anything, Ian starts to collapse, dragging Mickey down with him.

“Geez. Someone do something.” Mickey begs. It snaps Fiona out of her daze and she reaches for her phone, calling 911.

“Hello, my brother’s having some sort of breakdown. We need help.”

*

Ian wakes up in a thread-bare gown, lying on an uncomfortable mattress. He can hear the distinct sound of two people arguing outside. He recognizes their voices immediately.

“I can’t believe this.” Lip says. “What did you say to him?”

“I didn’t say anything to him! You were there the whole time.” Mickey responds.

“No, before today. You guys been meeting behind my back or something?” Lip spits.

“What the fuck, Lip? No, of course not.” Mickey says. He tries to place a comforting hand on Lip’s shoulder, but the man jerks back.

“Then why is he calling out for you in the middle of psychotic break? Saying he loves you and needs you?”

“How should I know?” Mickey says, voice edging toward hysterical. “What was I supposed to do? He just collapsed in my arms.”

“I don’t know, Mickey. But I’m not gonna sit around and just watch it happen. Fuck this.” Lip scoffs, turning and stomping toward the exit.

“Lip! Lip, wait! Dude!” Mickey calls, but Lip’s gone. Mickey slides down the wall, head falling into his hands. How is this his fault? What did he do?

He sits there, running a hand through his hair as he thinks over his and Ian’s brief interactions before coming to a conclusion. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything.

 He pushes himself to stand up and stalks into Ian’s room.

“Wanna explain yourself right now?” He practically yells.

“I didn-“

“No, you know what? I don’t even want to hear your pathetic, little voice. I don’t know what I did to make you think that there was anything between you and me, but let me make this perfectly clear.” Mickey sneers, voice dripping with hatred and disgust.

“We. Are. Nothing. You are nothing more to me than a guy I once knew. Any form of friendship we ever had is _completely_ in the past. You stay the fuck away from me!” Mickey screams the last line before turning and marching out of the room.

Ian presses his palms into his eyes, shoving back the tears, as the bathroom door in his hospital room opens and out comes Mandy.

She shuffles her feet for a moment, eyes focused on the ground before speaking up.

“Well that was harsh.” She winces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Things are happening, my friends.


	8. What Do I Do Now?

“I just, I can’t believe them. Either of them.” Mickey rants, pacing back and forth in Mandy’s living room.

“I mean, Ian. Fuck Ian. I’ve had like one conversation with the guy since he came back and we spent the whole time talking about how I’m happy with Lip. There were no mixed signals or doors left open. I was clear.”

Mandy nods, only half listening to her brother who has been talking at her for the last half hour.

“And Lip. What the fuck? How many years do I have to be with him before he stops being so insecure over his own brother? Me and Ian never even kissed, but Lip still thinks I’m gonna drop this whole life we've built together to run into Ian’s arms. It’s ridiculous.”

Mandy sighs, she takes Mickey’s short pause as an opportunity to finally speak up.

“Mick, I know it seems crazy for Lip to be so unsure, but you never heard Ian talk about you the way he did. I didn’t know it was you he was talking about way back then, but he acted like you guys were soulmates or something. I’m sure he said the same kind of stuff to Lip.”

Mickey groans, collapsing next to Mandy on the couch. He turns his head to face her.

“So what do I do now?” He asks.

Mandy pats her brother's shoulder. “Lip will be fine. Have you called him?”

“And texted.” Mickey nods.

“Good. He knows you’re there so give him today to calm down and contact you. If he still doesn’t say anything by tomorrow when you wake up, then you can send out the search party.”

Mickey scoffs. “Like I’ll get any sleep without him.”

Mandy smiles softly. She loves that Mickey is so comfortable with Lip that he just says stuff like that so easily.

“Look. Ian coming back surprised everyone. Lip probably has been feeling on edge since Ian showed up, and this whole thing was just what pushed him over. He’ll come back to himself.” She assures Mickey. “And when he does, you’ll be there waiting.”

Mickey nods. “I hope you’re right. Last time I gave someone space, they disappeared for a year.” He quips.

Mandy looks at her lap shamefully. “I’m sorry.”

Mickey sighs, grabbing her hand. “No it’s fine. It’s fine. Just a little raw still.”

Mandy nods. She gets that. She has to rebuild her relationship with Mickey, but she’s ready for the job.

*

Ian groans as the light filtering through the open curtains tries to blind him.

He’s been in bed for a few days, adjusting to his new meds. He’s pretty much fine now, but he’s milking the pity, cause once he’s up, he’ll have to deal with the aftermath of his breakdown.

He hears the daily chaos of breakfast downstairs, so he settles back in bed. He waits every morning for his family to leave before he walks downstairs. It’s easier to just stay away from them right now.

Ian wakes back up when the front door slams shut. He lies there for a moment, listening for any sounds of life and when he comes up short, he pulls himself out of bed.

He descends the stairs and walks into the empty kitchen. He opens the fridge and grabs some eggs to cook. 

He cracks the eggs into the pan and listens to the sizzle. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

“You done avoiding everyone?”

Ian jumps at the voice. He removes the pan from the stove and turns around slowly.

“Lip.”

“You’re gonna have to face your family eventually.” Lip says, leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.

“I’m not avoidi-“ Ian starts to lie, but stops when he sees that Lip isn't buying it. “Fine. I just wanted a few more days of peace before I had to clean up my mess.” Ian admits.

Lip nods, pushing himself on the wall. “Let’s sit.” He commands, gesturing toward the table.

Ian follows carefully, still kind of expecting a punch to the face.

Ian waits for Lip to lead the conversation, but Lip just stares, studying him in that way he always has, even as a child.

“What?” Ian finally lets out. “Just punch me or something, but stop with that weird look.”

Lip leans forward, resting his arms on the table.

“I don’t want to punch you, Ian. I just want you to stop.”

“Stop what?” Ian asks.

“Stop having feelings for Mickey. I know that sounds stupid or whatever because you think you can’t control it, but I think you can.” Lip says. “You’ve been gone for six years. Clearly you’ve chosen to keep thinking about Mickey and mentally pining after Mickey and believing that there’s something between you and Mickey.”

Ian just looks at Lip, unsure of what to say as Lip continues.

“I’ve spent too much time, even while you were still gone, worrying about Mickey leaving me for you. I can’t do it anymore so you’ve got to help me, okay? Just stop.”

“I don’t-“

“You don’t have to say anything or make a promise that you _believe_ you can’t keep. I just want you to think about that, okay?”

Ian nods. “Okay.”

Lip stands, opening the door and making like he’s going to leave the house. At the last second he turns around and levels Ian with a glare.

“Oh, and stay the fuck away from my boyfriend.” He growls.

Ian swallows, feeling so many things at once that he feels nothing. Is Lip right? Is he choosing to still have feelings for Mickey? Can he even control that?

Fuck. He’s got some thinking to do.

*

Lip cracks open the front door quietly, listening for the sound of someone shuffling in the kitchen or dining room.

The thing that sucks about living when someone who doesn’t have a job, is that you can't just sneak back into the house all nonchalant while they’re at work. You have to make a grand entrance and hope they’re not too pissed.

Lip pushes the door open a little bit further, peaking his head inside. The house looks and sounds empty so he opens it all the way and tip toes in.

He walks into his bedroom to see Mickey come out of the bathroom in a towel, skin dripping from a shower.

“Oh thank god.” Mickey breathes, rushing over to pull Lip into hug regardless of his wet body. “I was afraid I was gonna find you outside a bar in a drunken stupor.”

Lip sighs, melting into the hug. “I was tempted.” He says honestly. “But I remember how bad my last relapse was so.” He trails off.

“Well you’re here now.”

“About that-“ Lip starts.

“No!” Mickey interrupts. “No buts or waits or whatever else. You’re back and you’re staying. No more running off because you get insecure. We’re done with that.”

Lip nods and pulls Mickey back into a hug. “Okay.” He whispers. Mickey lets go of Lip to dry off and put on some sweatpants.

“Can we just lay in bed for a while?” Mickey asks, looking at Lip with that face that Lip can’t say no to.

Lip smiles. “Of course.”

He collapses on their bed and puts his hands out, beckoning Mickey to follow. Mickey crawls into his arms, resting his head on Lip’s chest. Lip runs his fingers up and down Mickey’s back.

“I’m sorry.” Lip breathes. Mickey just nods, pressing a few kisses to Lip’s neck.

*

Fiona comes home to be greeted by Ian cooking dinner.

“Ian?”

“Hey, Fi.”

“You’re up!” She cheers.

“Yeah.” Ian smiles. “I’m feeling better.”

“That’s great!” She grins, giving him a quick hug.

Ian smile falls as he takes a deep breath. “Fi, I owe you a huge apology.”

Fiona grabs Ian’s face to stop him. “Hey, don’t apologize. Your meds crapped out on you. That’s not your fault. I wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that you weren’t doing so well.”

“But you shouldn’t have to!” Ian interrupts. “I’m an adult. I know the signs, but I ignored them and ended up hurting everybody.” Ian sighs.

“Hey, no one’s mad at you.” Fiona assures. “Well, maybe Lip and Mickey, but they pretty much hate everyone but each other anyway.” She jokes.

Ian nods, turning back to the stove to finish the spaghetti he was cooking. After a while, the rest of the family trickles in. Debbie comes home from work. Carl is back from school. Sheila drops Liam off. Even Mandy joins in on Ian’s spaghetti.

It becomes clear that Lip and Mickey are skipping this dinner. Ian frowns, knowing it’s all his fault. Mandy notices this sadness and comes over. She rubs a hand down his back comfortingly.

“Hey, it’s okay. They always hide away together when something happens. They’ll be back around in a week or two.” She says.

Ian smiles at her, hoping she believes it, but knowing she won’t. Mandy can see right through him like no one else. It’s one of the reasons he likes to spend the most time with her, but it also means that he can’t hide anything from her.

“I’m okay.” He forces out. Mandy smiles back and leaves him alone.

After dinner, everyone filters back out. It’s a Saturday night so they all have plans except for Ian and Fiona.

They sit watching TV until Ian works up the courage to ask for her opinion.

“Hey, Fi. Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, sweetface. Anything.” She responds, moving closer to him.

“Lip said that he thinks I’m choosing to still have feelings for Mickey. Could that be true?”

Fiona’s eyebrows furrow in thought. “I don’t know. I guess you could be. Do you feel like you are? Like you’re holding on to that hope that you two could be together again?”

Ian shrugs. “Maybe I was before I came back, but shouldn’t Lip and Mickey being happy be enough to close that window?”

Fiona nods.

“Maybe I just need closure.” Ian lights up with his great idea. “I could talk to Mickey, have that final conversation.”

“I don’t know if that a good idea, Ian.”

“No, it’s great! I have one last talk to get it through my thick skull that there’s nothing between us.” Ian says excitedly as he jumps off the couch.

Fiona watches him grab his coat so she jumps up as well.

“You’re going right now?”

“Yeah!” Ian nods. “Get it over with. Rip off the band aid.” He whips open the door and skips outside, heading straight to Lip and Mickey’s.

When he reaches the house, he bounds up the stairs before rapping his knuckles against the door a few times.

Lip answers and his brows immediately raise to his hairline.

“What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Mickey.” Ian announces, head bobbing around Lip’s frame to look for him.

Lip shoves Ian back, face going hard before he rears back and punches Ian straight in the nose. Ian flies backward, having not expected the punch. He falls down the four stairs on the front porch.

Lip follows him down, squatting to meet Ian’s eye line.

“I tell you to stay the fuck away and you come to _my_ house and demand to speak to _my_ boyfriend.” Lip growls, putting a foot on Ian’s chest to keep him down.

Mickey watches from the doorway, knowing not to get involved and letting the brothers just sort it out. He shakes his head at Ian. How can that boy be so incredibly stupid?

Lip continues to yell at Ian, mostly insults, occasionally lifting him by his hoodie just to slam his back against the concrete.

Mickey sees their neighbor’s light flick on. The door opens and Mr. Jameson walks out, dressed in his night coat and watches Lip with an alarmed look on his face.

Mickey sighs knowing he has to stop this before the cops are called.

“Lip.” Mickey calls, still leans against the door frame. Lip looks over and Mickey simply points to Mr. Jameson. Lip scowls at the man before releasing Ian’s jacket.

“Stay the fuck away.” He spits. “From both of us.” He punctuates his words with one last shove before stomping back into his house.

Ian lies on the ground for a minute before pushing himself up. As he wipes the blood off his face from Lip’s right hook, he hears a car horn. He turns to see Fiona in her car, waving him over.

He huffs, getting into the car and reclining the seat back.

“Don’t even say it.”


	9. When Do I Get To Be Happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And I promise I didn't forget about this! I'm hoping I'll be able to have a new chapter for you every week, but I'm also in the midst of finals so don't hate me if I miss a week! Thank you so much for you're support and I hope you are still enjoying this fic!

“I don’t want to hear it, Fiona.”

Fiona laughs. “Why’d you agree to see me then?”

Lip scoffs. “You’re still my sister and I love you. Even if you are taking up for that piece of shit.” He spits the last few words.

“What else would you have me do?” Fiona asks.

“Tell him to get lost. We were better off without him.” Lip sneers.

“Hey!” Fiona says sternly, slapping a hand down on the table. “We don’t turn our back on family. Maybe a bit too much Milkovich has rubbed off on you if you’re ready to disown a brother after a little fight.”

“Fuck you.” Lip barks. “Mickey looks after the people worth looking after. He would do anything for Mandy or Iggy.”

“But he would also kick them to the curb after a fight? That’s what he did to Mandy, right?” Fiona squints, challenging Lip. “Oh no, wait. He welcomed her back with open arms. Forgave her even.” Fiona switches tactics so quick, it gives Lip whiplash.

“Yeah, well Mandy didn’t try to steal his boyfriend, did she?”

Fiona runs a hand through her hair. “Look Lip. I don’t want to fight with you, okay? I’m not asking you to forgive Ian or even talk to him right now. I’m just saying don’t write him off forever.” Fiona says gently. “He’s gonna be around because no matter what decision you make, he’ll always be welcome with me.”

Fiona gets up and leaves Lip to think about what she’s just laid out.

*

Mickey is sitting on the couch, watching some crime show, when Lip comes stomping in the house. Mickey watches as he grabs a water from the fridge, downs the whole bottle in one gulp and then proceeds to pace around the living room.

“Wanna take a break there, champ? Maybe sit down for a second.” Mickey offers after Lip spends ten minutes marching back and forth between the kitchen and living room.

Lip huffs. “Fiona just-. Ugh!” He groans. “Why does she have to be so forgiving?”

Mickey smirks. “You know most people see that as a good quality to have.”

“Yeah, well I don’t want to hear her shit when I’m still this pissed.” Lip rants. “She didn’t even give me a full 24 hours before she whipped out the lecture.”

“Sit with me.” Mickey commands, patting the couch. Lip falls dramatically across Mickey, head in his lap and feet hanging over the arm of the sofa. Mickey runs a hand through the soft curls of Lip’s hair.

“Talk to me.” Mickey says simply, giving Lip permission to continue his tirade, but this time without the incessant pacing.

“I was only kind of mad at Ian yesterday morning when I left Fiona’s. I mean, he had a mental breakdown, literally, so I wasn’t blaming him too much. A lot of this was all my own personal issues.” Lip explains. “But then he comes banging on our door, only hours later, demanding to talk to you. Of course I was pissed!” Lip exclaims.

“I noticed.” Mickey teases, referring to Lip’s punch and screams after Ian showed up.

“And then I go meet Fiona and she scolds me about how I shouldn’t write off Ian.” Lip huffs. “Don’t I at least get a few days where I’m allowed to be mad.”

Mickey nods. “You do. You are allowed to be mad. I declare it.” Mickey jokes, slamming his hand down on the couch.

Lip smiles minutely, wrapping his arm around Mickey’s wrist. “Thanks.”

They sit there for a while, just bundled up around each other. Mickey finally asks the question that’s been on mind.

“What did you even say to Ian when you went to Fiona’s?”

Lip looks up at Mickey, like he’s searching for Mickey’s intent for asking. When all he sees is genuine curiosity, Lip sighs.

“I told him to get over you.” Lip says honestly. “To let go of whatever he’s holding on to that keeps him in love with you even after all these years.”

Mickey nods. “That’s it?”

Lip chews on the inside of his cheek. “I might’ve also told him to stay the fuck away from you.”

Mickey smirks, but Lip isn’t looking at him.

“And I know you hate when people fight your battles for you, but-“

Mickey places a hand over Lip’s mouth.

“I like it when you stand up for me.” Mickey admits. “Like knowing that someone’s got my back, ya know?”

Lip yanks Mickey down by his shirt, slotting his mouth over his boyfriend’s. They kiss for a moment until Lip pulls back just slightly, their noses almost touching.

“I’ll always have your back.” He whispers. Mickey stares into those big, blue eyes and nearly melts. “I love you.” Lip adds.

Mickey pulls Lip back in, putting all of his feelings into that kiss.

*

After Lip calmed down, he promptly fell asleep in Mickey’s lap. Mickey huffs.

Lip always does this. He comes home all worked up and then falls asleep on top of Mickey, effectively pining him to the couch.

Mickey looks down at Lip, trying to gage how deeply he’s asleep. After deciding that Lip’s gone to the world, Mickey slips his legs out from under Lip’s head, replacing them with a pillow.

He tiptoes into his room and grabs his phone, dialing a familiar number.

“Hey, call me back. I wanna see you and get your opinion on something.”

*

“Mikhailo! My second favorite brother.” Mandy says in a fake accent. Mickey shakes his head, but gives her a quick hug regardless.

“So, boss, why’d you call me in today? Am I fired?” Mandy jokes.

Mickey groans. “Can you be serious for one second, please?”

“Oh shit! A ‘please’. This is serious.” Mandy teases.

Mickey runs a hand over his face, trying to decide if he should just leave. Mandy picks up on this and backtracks.

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m here. What did you need my opinion on?” She asks genuinely.

Mickey sighs. “Ian.”

Mandy raises her eyebrows, trying to decipher what that means.

“Like do I let Lip just cut him out of his life or do I tell him to just forgive Ian? And if I tell him to forgive Ian will he think its because I like Ian or something?” Mickey spirals.

“Ooof.” Mandy huffs. “That’s a tough one. I mean, what are the chances that he’s serious about cutting Ian loose for good?”

“That’s the thing!” Mickey exclaims. “I don’t know. This is uncharted territory for us, ya know?”

Mandy nods.

“If I had to place a bet, I’d say that Lip would come around. You know how those Gallaghers are but-“

“But Ian threatened Lip’s relationship with you and if there’s one person he’d choose over his family, it’s you.” Mandy finishes.

Mickey blushes. He didn’t want to say it, but it’s true. There’s a real chance, that if it ever came down to it, Lip might choose Mickey over the Gallaghers.

“So what do I do?” Mickey asks, distress clear on his face.

“Let me talk to Ian.” Mandy offers. “I’ll see where his head is at post-blowout and we’ll go from there.”

Mickey nods. “And what about Lip?”

“Give him some time. Let his initial anger fizzle out and then you’ll see how he truly feels, right?”

“Right.” Mickey agrees.

*

Ian stares forward, only half paying attention to the game show on the television, his hands rubbing Mandy’s feet as they rest in his lap. They’ve been hanging out at her house for a few hours.

Ian thought it was just a normal hangout, but by the way Mandy keeps looking at him, he thinks she might have a hidden agenda. One more glance is all it takes for him to crack.

“Geez, Mandy. Stop looking at me like a creep and just spit it out.” He says.

Mandy flinches at being caught, but quickly regains her composure.

“What are you talking about?” She feigns innocence.

“You’ve been staring at me since I got here so you obviously have something to say. Out with it!” Ian demands.

Mandy shrugs. “I-I just wanted to know how you were doing after the whole Lip thing.”

Ian sinks down in his seat, like he’s hoping that the couch will eat him up. Mandy just watches him, knowing that he’ll speak up when he’s ready.

“I just wanted closure.” Ian finally blurts out. “I was talking to Fiona and realized that was what I was missing. I just wanted to talk to Mickey about us one last time and then I’d leave it. But Lip went fucking crazy and I just-. Ugh.”

“Ian…”

“No. I know, Mandy. I’m stupid, okay? I left and stayed gone for six years. And now I’m back, but no one owes me anything. It’s my own damn fault that I couldn’t just forget Mickey. I know that.” Ian rants. “But, no one really gets what I’m going through. I mean, c’mon on! What are the fucking chances that Lip is not only gay, but falls in love with Mickey? What the fuck is that?” Ian throws his hands in the air.

Mandy sighs. “Look, it sucks, I know that because I went through the same thing when it started happening, remember?” Mandy points out. Ian wants to act like he’s so special, but she had to watch that shit happen.

“How did you do it?” Ian asks. “How did you get over Lip and the fact that he was dating your brother?”

“Well, at first I was pissed. You were gone and me and Lip had been broken up for like six months when I walked in on him fucking railing my brother.” She scoffs. “I realized pretty quickly that this had been going on for a while. I made Mickey explain it to me and when he was done talking, I punched him in the face.”

Ian laughs. “Sounds familiar.”

“But that wasn’t the worst part.” Mandy says. “Because then they really started falling in love. Lip was over at our house all the time, just watching TV with Mickey and making jokes. The anger was drained from my body and replaced with heartache. I loved Lip and there he was, on my couch, staring at my brother like he hung the fucking stars.”

“So what? It just took time?”

“You know those couples you see at the park or the coffee shop? The ones who are making out or holding hands and they just kinda piss you off cause you’re single?” She asks.

Ian huffs. “Yeah.”

“But then sometimes you see that one couple.” Mandy continues. “They’re not all over each other or anything. They’re just together and they’re happy. They just seem content to stay side by side until the day they die. Almost like they found their person, the one who understands them.”

Ian nods, smile fading as he sees where this is going.

“That’s Lip and Mickey. I watched them both realize over time that this was the person they were meant to be with. My anger and misery and grief just faded because how can I be mad that they found their person? How could wish them anything but happiness after that?”

Ian turns away, trying to suck the tears back into his face. Mandy grabs his hand, turning his face back toward hers.

“That’s what you have to do. It’s gonna suck, really really suck. But once you see that what they have is real, is where they’re supposed to be, this thing inside of you that keeps you from moving on will fade and you can live your life again.”

“And what if I’m not ready?” Ian asks.

“It doesn’t matter.” Mandy says bluntly. “You don’t get to choose to not be ready anymore. You gotta let your brother be happy. Let Mickey be happy.”

Ian nods.

“Let yourself be happy.” Mandy whispers, wiping away the tears from Ian’s cheek.        

“I love you, Ian. And I’m ready for you to be happy.”


	10. What If I Don't Want To?

Mickey rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he goes to answer the door.

“Don’t punch them!” Lip calls from the bedroom, knowing how Mickey gets when someone wakes him up before noon.

“Shut the fuck up.” Mickey quips back, opening the door to see his sister standing behind it. She pushes past him, walking into the house like she owns it. 

“Come on in.” He says sarcastically, watching her stalk into their bedroom and plop down on the bed next to his boyfriend.

Lip peeks out of one eye, chuckling when he sees Mandy sitting there, just staring at him.

“Hello, sunshine.” He smirks.

“I need to talk to you.” She says insistently. Mickey watches curiously from the door way.

“What’s this about, Mands?” Mickey asks.

“Can we have some privacy?” She spits.

Mickey rolls his eyes, but turns toward the kitchen nonetheless, grumbling something like ‘it’s my fucking house’.

Mandy looks back at Lip. He arches an eyebrow as a signal for her to start talking.

“I need you to do something and you’re not gonna like it.” She says.

“You know, killing the guys who fuck you over is kinda more Mickey and Iggy’s thing.” He jokes.

She slaps his shoulder roughly. “I’m serious.” She growls.

Lip pushes himself up into a semi-sitting position. “Okay, I’m all ears.”

“I need you to let Ian be around Mickey.”

“What?” Lip’s eyes go wide. “The fuck does that mean?”

Mandy huffs. “Ian’s never gonna get over Mickey if he never sees you guys together, never sees how happy you are.”

Lip crosses his arms. “What makes you so sure?”

“People have to see things to believe them. If I told you I found my soulmate, but you never met him, you wouldn’t really believe me, right?” Mandy asks.

“Well that’s different.” Lip starts. “You only date losers so I wouldn’t believe you even if I did meet the guy.”

Mandy scowls, punching Lip’s arm over and over.

“Ow. Ow! Mandy, quit it! I was joking!”

“Not the face, Mands. I like his face.” Mickey calls from the kitchen.

“Fuck you, Mickey!” Lip yells back.

“I’m sorry. Geez.” Lip apologizes when Mandy relents. “But how is you dating a random guy the same as me and Mickey. Why doesn’t Ian believe we’re happy when everyone is telling him we are? When _we_ are telling him we are?”

“Look” Mandy sighs. She was hoping she could get Lip to agree with her without getting personal, but of course the stubborn fucker can never make anything easy.

“I know because Ian is going through the same thing I did when you and Mickey first became a thing.”

Lip furrows his brow. “You were upset when Mickey and I got together?”

“Of course I was!” Mandy scoffs. “It felt worse too because all of a sudden you were gay or something and I thought it was my fault. I know that’s not how sexuality works but my mind doesn’t listen to fact.” She adds.

Lip laughs. “So being around us helped you get over it?”

Mandy shrugs. “Yeah. I mean, it sucked at first, but you and Mickey are meant to be or whatever, right? Can’t stay mad at that.”

“So what? I’m just supposed to invite Ian to come hang out with me and Mickey or something?”

Mandy shakes her head. “No, asshole. First, bury the hatchet with your brother. Let him apologize and all that. Then you stop avoiding all of Fiona’s get-togethers. You and Mickey come and just be yourselves. I’ll make sure Ian’s there and that he doesn’t make a scene.”

Lip huffs. “I hope you’re right about this.”

“Right about what?” Mickey asks, jumping on top of Lip, kissing his cheek.

“Oh, I’m right about everything, brother.” Mandy jokes, reclining back on the bed, folding her hands behind her head.

“Uh, Mandy?” A deep voice calls into the house.

“Who the fuck is that?” Mickey exclaims as Mandy jumps up, eyes dilating.

“No one!” She says quickly, running into the other room. “Stay here.” She says to Mickey and Lip.

“Are you do-“ The voice starts.

“I told you to stay in the car, Austin!” Lip and Mickey hear Mandy yell. Mickey starts to get up but Lip grabs him around the waist.

“Let me go, Lip!” Mickey squirms.

“Dude, c’mon.” Lip whispers. “Let her introduce you to him on her own terms, yeah?”

Mickey relaxes in Lip’s hold. “Ugh. Stop being right all the time.” He huffs, pout clear on his face.

“It’s a blessing and a curse.” Lip sighs. Mickey’s head lulls back to connect with Lip’s shoulder.

“I hate you so much.” He breathes.

Lip grins. “I love you too.”

*

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

“Come in!” Debbie calls from where she’s sitting on her bed.

“Hey Debs.” Ian greets weakly.

“Ian.” Her face goes tight.

“I, uh. I wanted to talk to you if that’s okay.”

Debbie nods, the expression on her face softening minutely at Ian’s shameful demeanor.

“I owe you an apology. I missed six years of your life because I was too scared to come back.” Ian says. “But I don’t want to miss any more of it. So if you’ll let me, I’d like to make it up to you. From now on, whatever you need, I’m your guy.”

Debbie stares at him for a minute, making Ian think that she needs more time, but then she crumbles. She crawls over and wraps her arms around his neck.

“Of course, Ian.” She breathes, tears falling onto his shirt. Ian hugs her tight, smiling at Fiona as she watches from the door way. 

Ian smiles, happy to rebuild the relationships he knocked down. 

*

Ian bounds down the stairs and freezes as soon as he sees who is in the kitchen. He and Lip lock eyes before Ian grabs his coat and rushes toward the door.

“Sorry, Lip. I’m leaving now.” He says quickly. Lip puts a hand to his bicep before he can make it out.

“Ian, wait.” He says. “I’m here for you, actually. Can we talk upstairs?”

Ian searches the room, looking for an exit strategy, but comes up short so he nods stiffly, following Lip up the stairs.

“If you kill him, do it in the bathtub so it’s easier to clean up.” Fiona calls.

Ian wishes he could laugh, but it doesn’t really feel like a joke right now.

Lip leads them into Ian’s room and takes a seat on the bed, leaning against the wall. Ian sits as far away as possible, mentally taking note of all the exit routes.

“Ian” Lip starts. “I want us to move on. We’ve lost enough time as brothers.”

Ian nods, he knows that he’s lost time with all his siblings and he wants that to end.

“So, if you promise to try and put Mickey completely in your past, then we’re cool.”

“Okay.” Ian breathes, still doubtful that this is a promise he can make. “I’ll do my best.”

Lip smiles. “Good.” He says, pulling Ian into a hug. “I really want to be brothers again, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

***

Mickey sighs contently. Lazy Sundays in bed with Lip are his favorite. Sure, some people would argue that most of the couple’s days are lazy days, but Sundays just have that extra something that he can’t put his finger on.

Right now, Lip is sprawled across the bed, head resting on Mickey’s stomach as Mickey’s fingers run through his hair. Mickey loves Lip’s curls. He loves that Lip can’t be bothered to style or straighten his blonde locks. It makes it easier for Mickey to pet.

This Sunday, they’re watching Arrow. Mickey has a Colton Hayes thing and Lip has a Caity Lotz thing so it’s mutually beneficial. The current episode ends and Lip turns off the TV, deciding to ask the question that been swirling around his head ever since Mandy stopped by.

“Mickey, can I ask you something?” Lip asks, flipping his head so he’s facing Mickey.

“Course.”

“How come you were never insecure about Mandy like I was about Ian? I mean, I know we weren’t a thing as long, but we were more of a real couple than you and Ian ever were.”

Mickey shrugs. “I knew how you operated so I figured it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“What does that mean?” Lip huffs.

“C’mon, Lip. You know how you are. When you like someone, you go after them full force. And when you don’t, you ghost them so fast they get dizzy. Now, remind me, which one did you do to my sister?”

Lip bites his cheek. “Sorry.” Lip whispers, apparently apologizing for something that happened six years ago.

“What are you sorry for? Ditching my sister for me? Can’t really be mad at that, can I?” Mickey giggles.

Lip laughs. “Guess there were a few casualties when we started this thing, huh?”

“Eh, what’s a few casualties in the face of fate, my love?” Mickey teases, pinching Lip's cheek.

Lip smiles, pressing his face into Mickey’s neck.

“I like you, Mickey Milkovich.” He whispers.

“I like you, Lip Gallagher.”

*

Mandy walks in the Gallagher kitchen to see Fiona and Debbie already seated at the table.

“Is this the location of the ominous meeting I was invited to?” Mandy asks.

Fiona and Debbie nod.

“We’re waiting on Ian, I guess.” Fiona speaks up. “What did your text say?”

“Uh.” Mandy pulls out her phone. “Meeting. Fiona’s house. 3pm.”

“Us too.” Debbie confirms.

“Glad you all could make it.” Ian says loftily and he trudges down the stairs, taking a seat at the head of the table.

“What the fuck is this?” Mandy inquires.

Ian arches an eyebrow. “I’ve called you here because I want to know who did it.”

“Who did what?” Fiona asks.

“Who got Lip to stop being mad at me? And what did you offer him?”

Mandy throws her hands in the air. “Jesus Christ, Ian. Could you be anymore dramatic?” She scoffs. “It was me, stupid.”

Ian crosses his arms as Mandy turns to Fiona and Debbie rolling her eyes.

“Let me talk to him for sec and then I’ll explain.” She says to the two women. They nod and head to the living room.

“Look, I didn’t expect him to work that fast, but I told you I’d talk to Lip. I got him to understand that him hiding Mickey away won’t help anything and that the first step was for him to let you apologize. Now it's time to watch them be a couple and move on.”

Ian runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck. I’m not ready to see them together.”

Mandy slams a hand down on the table.

“We talked about this. You don’t get to say that you aren’t ready.” She demands. “In fact, family dinner is tomorrow and they’re coming so…” She trails off.

Ian nods. “Fine.” He pouts.

“Now, go upstairs. I need to talk to Fiona and Debbie.” Mandy turns to the living room and sits on the coffee table in front of the two sisters.

“I need your help, both of you.” She says.

“Anything.” Debbie says, Fiona nodding in agreement.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what was with the Arrow reference. I've only seen like three eps of that show. (But look up those actors cause HOT DAMN that show is full of fucking models)
> 
> And I know it feels like everyone is ganging up on Ian right now, but this isn't just a 'shit all over Ian' fic so don't worry, it will shift.


	11. What Could Go Wrong?

Today’s the day. The first Gallagher family dinner since the string of blowouts that have happened ever since Ian walked back into their lives. Everyone’s on edge.

Mandy asked Fiona and Debbie to be on Ian watch with her, making sure he doesn’t have any meltdowns or freak-outs. 

Currently, Mickey is driving Lip and himself to the Gallagher house. Lip is tense as all hell and Mickey is aware of this fact even if he doesn’t know why Lip is so anxious. 

“You gonna tell me why your foot is trying to wear a hole in the floorboard of my car?” Mickey asks, gesturing to where Lip’s leg is bouncing up and down.

“I’m fine.” Lip replies quickly.

“Yeah.” Mickey huffs. “Cause that’s what people who are actually fine say. Seriously, what’s up? And when did you forgive Ian? I thought it’d be months before we’d go to another Gallagher dinner.” 

“Water under the bridge.” Lip quips unconvincingly.

“Really? Water under the bridge?” Mickey presses. 

Lip nods curtly so Mickey decides to drop it. Lip will tell him when he’s ready and hopefully that’ll be soon. 

Lip swings the door open before the car comes to a complete stop. He stalks to the front door, but halts before goes inside. He walks back to where Mickey is and grasps his hand tightly. Mickey arches an eyebrow. 

“We holding hands now?” He teases.

Lip turns toward him, jaw tight. “We’re a couple.” He growls through his teeth. 

Mickey’s eyes go wide at Lip’s intensity, but he nods and clutches Lip’s hand. 

They walk inside and see that they are the last ones there. Ian’s eyes pass over them as they enter before bouncing around the room.

Ian looks down at his feet. Is he supposed to just stare at Lip and Mickey? He’s so confused about this whole plan and the fact that Lip knows about it, makes everything worse. Ian steps quickly over to where Mandy is standing. 

“I can’t do it!” He whispers. “It’s too weird! I can’t just stare at them all night.”

Mandy shakes her head. “I didn’t tell you to stare at them. You have to be around them, in general. It’s not gonna all happen tonight. It’s a process.” 

Ian chews on his lip. He was kind of hoping this was a one night seminar and not a long term class, but nothing has ever been simple for him so who was he kidding?

Mandy is yanked from her spot beside Ian and pulled into the kitchen. 

“I can’t do it!” Lip whispers.

“Jesus Christ!” Mandy groans. “You have the easy part. Just act like you normally do with Mickey, okay?” 

Lip nods stiffly, shuffling back over to where his boyfriend is seated on the couch. He puts an arm around Mickey, squeezing the man tightly against his body.

“What are you doing?” Mickey asks quietly. Lip tenses and pulls his arm back slowly. 

“I don’t know.” He mumbles. 

Mickey catches Mandy and Ian staring out of the corner of his eye and everything clicks.

“I’ll be right back.” He says to Lip, running a hand over his thigh before standing up. He grabs Mandy by the arm and guides her out the back door and onto the porch. 

Mandy jerks her arm from his grip. 

“Why is everybody manhandling me tonight? Damn!” 

“What’s going on?” Mickey spits. 

“What do you mean?” Mandy replies, trying to play innocent, but doing a terrible job.

“Lip’s acting weird, Ian’s acting weird, and you’re acting the weirdest of all, so that means you’re the leader. So I repeat, what is going on?” 

Mandy plops down on the top step of the porch and Mickey follows her lead. 

“I’m trying to help Ian get over you, okay? And the best way to do that is for him to see you and Lip together. So I had to tell Lip about it so he’d forgive his brother and you two would stop hiding away in your house.”

“And now Lip doesn’t know how to act natural.” Mickey finishes her explanation.

“Exactly! Those Gallaghers couldn’t play it cool to save their fucking lives.” 

Mickey stands up suddenly, startling Mandy.

“Where are you going?” She asks.

“I’m going to remind my boyfriend how we normally act.” He smirks, heading back inside the house. 

*

Lip looks around the room tensely. How can he act all cutesie with his boyfriend if his boyfriend disappears? 

Thankfully, at that moment, Mickey walks around the corner with two sodas in hand. He tosses one to Lip before sitting down beside him. 

“Where’d you go?” Lip asks. 

“Talk to my sister.” Mickey explains, taking a drink of his Sprite. 

Lip’s eyes go wide.

“You know?” 

Mickey nods. “She can keep a secret about as well as you can play it cool.” He teases. 

Lip shrugs. “So what do we do? I forgot what we do?” 

“Yeah, no shit.” Mickey laughs. “First, no more hand-holding. We’ve never held hands in our fucking life. And chill out. Take a breath. You’re acting like a crazy person.”

“Okay.” Lip swallows. “I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?” Mickey smiles. “Just relax. Be yourself. Be us.”

Mickey cups Lip’s cheek, turning his face to meet his gaze. Lip smiles, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on Mickey lips. 

“We’re good, yeah?”

Lip nods. “Yeah. We’re good.” 

*

“Fuck.” Ian whispers.

“I know.” Mandy says, shaking her head. 

“They’re so-. Fuck.” 

“They’re the worst.” Mandy grins. 

Ian takes a deep breath, turning to give Mandy a pleading look. She nods. 

“That’s enough for today.” She assures him. He gives her a quick hug before darting out the door. 

Lip jumps up as Ian swings the door open only to slip through and close it quickly behind him.

“What the fuck, Mandy?” He yells. “It doesn’t work if he leaves!” 

Mandy starts to argue, but Mickey beats him to the punch. 

“Hey, it’s not gonna happen in one night, yeah? Let him go.” 

Lip sighs, but nods. 

“C’mon.” Mickey gestures toward the door. “Let’s go home.”

*

Ian walks down the street solemnly, kicking at rocks as he takes each step. He has no plan or destination.

Ian is ripped from his daze when he hears a voice.

“Ow!” 

Ian looks up and sees that one of the rocks he kicked just nailed a guy in the shin.

“The fuck I do to you?” The man asks. He’s about Ian’s height. Lean build. Blonde hair down to his shoulders. 

“Oh, sorry man. I didn’t mean to-. Sorry.” 

“It’s cool.” The guy smiles. “I was mostly kidding.” 

Ian nods and moves to walk past the guy.

“Hey, me and some of my friends are meeting at this bar down the street if you wanna join?”

Ian frowns. “Kicking a rock at you warrants a party invite?”

“Eh, you looked a little down, and its not a party. Just a bar.”

“Either way, I can’t drink so-“

“Just c’mon, dude. If you hate it or me, you can leave, but you seem like you need a friend, yeah?” 

Ian bites his lip, thinking over his options. He could go to a bar with this hot stranger, or he could go back home and watch his brother and his ex cuddle. Oh wow, this is not a hard choice at all.

“Okay.” Ian shrugs, following the guy down the street a few blocks. 

“I’m Austin, by the way.”

“Ian.”

*

Ian walks through the door at 1 AM only to be bombarded by an army.

“Where the fuck were you, Ian?” Fiona shoves at his chest. 

“Yeah, we thought you’d run off again.” Debbie adds. 

“I just went out, okay? Made a new friend.” 

Fiona’s angry fades to curiosity. 

“A friend, huh?” She wiggles her eyebrows jokingly. 

“Not like that.” Ian laughs. “Just a friend. He’s straight anyway.” 

“Well, still!” Fiona grins. “Just friends are good too.” She nods with finality, ushering Debbie and Carl up the stairs. 

Ian shakes his head, walking toward the kitchen to grab a water. 

“I was serious, ya know?” Fiona speaks up from behind him.

“Hm?”

“Friends are good. Laying down some foundation here will be great for you.” She encourages. “Meet some people you aren’t related to, huh?” 

“Yeah.” Ian smiles. “Friends.”

*

Ian spends most of his nights hanging out with Austin and his friends. He really likes the guy and it is nice to meet new people. People who don’t know his past and his mistakes. They all just take him for what he is now and it’s jarring, but amazing. 

Ian walks up to Austin at the bar and finds him on the phone talking to his girlfriend. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiles, hanging up the phone. 

“She can’t come out tonight?” Ian asks. 

“Nah, she’s got work.” Austin pouts. 

Ian grins. It’s adorable how much Austin likes this girl. Apparently he’s only been dating her for a month, but as far as Ian can tell, he’s head over heels for her.

“Well, I’d love to meet her eventually.” 

“Yeah, she wants to meet you too. She thinks I’m gonna leave her for this new, mysterious best friend of mine.” 

Ian fake gasps. “I’m your best friend?”

“Fuck off.” Austin laughs.

*

“Maaaaandyyyy.” Ian whines, lying across her lap dramatically. “When do I get to meet your boyfriend, huh? It’s been a month. You’ve never hidden guys from me before.”

Mandy tickles Ian’s ribs, smiling at the childish giggles that fall out of his mouth. 

“I know. I know. I just really like him and I don’t want to jinx it by introducing him to everyone, ya know?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Ian shrugs. “But it’s me! I’m your soulmate! There are no secrets between soulmates!” He protests.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll text him.”  
  
“Woohoo!” Ian cheers, pumping a victorious fist in the air.

One hour and two episodes of Friends later, there’s a knock on the door. Mandy and Ian both jump up, but before Ian can run to the door, Mandy places a firm hand against his chest.

“Play it cool.” She growls through her teeth.

Ian grabs her hand between both of his. 

“Oh Mandy.” He smirks. “You know I can’t.” 

Mandy rolls her eyes and rips her hand from Ian’s grip. She opens the door and kisses her boyfriend on the lips. She takes a deep breath before stepping out from in front of the door.

“Ian, this is Austin, my boyfriend.”

“No fucking way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little lighter than the others have been so hopefully that's a nice reprieve. Also, yay for new friends! And I picture Austin as Austin Butler, just fyi so you have a mental image.


	12. What Are We Fighting For?

“No fucking way” Ian breathes.

“I can’t believe it.” Austin smiles.

“What? What?” Mandy asks frantically.

“This is that new best friend I told you about.” Austin smirks.

“Wait, what?” Mandy shoves Austin’s shoulder. “You’re the one stealing my best friend from me?”

Austin and Ian laugh. “Guess so.”

*

“So. What are our plans for today?” Lip asks from he is slumped in Mickey’s lap as Mickey leans against the headboard.

“Uhhh, you have a video call at ten, which is an hour from now and I have to get groceries and pick up our dry cleani-. Oh my god. I sound like a white woman from the suburbs.” Mickey grabs Lip’s face, tilting it up so their eyes meet. “Kill me. Put me out of my misery, please!”

Lip laughs, loud and bright at his boyfriend’s dramatics.

“Well, before you die, I have something I wanted to talk about.”

“Wow, no ominous greetings or kitchen table this time?”

Lip frowns. “What?”

“Never mind.” Mickey smirks to himself. “Go ahead.”

“I-. I, uh-.” Lip pauses, wondering if he should just ditch this conversation all together, but Mickey’s steady hand running through his curls gives him the push he needs.

“Iwaswonderingifwewillevergetmarried.” Lip rushes out in one quick breath.

“Wanna try that again, chief?” Mickey teases.

“Us. Marriage. What are your thoughts?” Lip adjusts.

Mickey lets out a slow breath, shoving down the old, lingering fear that still rattles around in the back of his mind.

“Why do you ask?” Mickey poses, buying himself some time.

“I don’t know.” Lip shrugs. “I just-. It’s legal now, right? Not that that’s the reason we aren’t married, but, ya know, we’ve been together a while, yeah? Maybe it’d be cool to be really together.”

“And we aren’t really together unless we’re married?”

“No, of course not. I-“

“This whole thing is just a casual little fling unless the government knows we signed a piece of paper?”

Lip can hear Mickey getting more and more agitated and it makes him wish he would’ve just kept his mouth shut.

“Dude, c’mon. You know I don’t think that.” Lip tries to soothe Mickey.

“Then why? Why the fuck would we get married? Huh?” Mickey asks aggressively.

 

People like to think that the Gallaghers and the Milkoviches are vastly different, but that’s just not true.

Both families are Southside through and through. They run family first and fuck everybody else. Both families are social pariahs, granted for different reasons, but outsiders all the same.

And the biggest thing that all Gallaghers and Milkoviches have in common is their tempers. However, this fireball of rage manifests itself in different ways.

The Milkovich temper is in your face right from the start. It's like a firework, a loud boom and a flash of light. It’s shouts and punches and head butts. If a Milkovich is pissed, you fucking know it. But like a firework, it fizzles quickly. 

Gallaghers are different. Sure, they can scream and fight as good as anyone, but their favorite tactic is the steady build. They like to hide their rage, let it fester inside themselves until one day, all of their pent up aggression starts to overflow. It starts with subtle comments that turn into blatant accusations and finally an eruption that battles the ferocity of a volcano. And it’s much more destructive than a Milkovich punch.

So when Mickey’s aggression is met with a silent tongue and stoic face, he knows that this is only the beginning.

The tension builds between Lip and Mickey over the next few days. And because Mickey knows not to fall for Lip’s ‘I’m not mad’ bullshit, they pretty much spend that week in silence.

Mickey doesn’t waste his breath apologizing because he knows how Lip operates. Lip has to blow up before he can calm down. So now, it’s just a waiting game.

*

Lip and Mickey are walking in silence to Fiona’s for family dinner when it all starts to go off.

“So, I heard that Ian met Mandy’s new boyfriend.” Lip says casually, knowing that Mickey is still sensitive about all things involving his sister and her love life. 

Mickey bites the inside of his cheek to avoid saying anything. He knows what Lip is doing and he won’t stoop to the Gallagher level. That’s not his game. He’ll endure this part, horrific as it is, and hope their relationship is still salvageable on the other side.  

Mickey pushes the door open and walks inside Fiona’s house to find that they are the last to arrive as usual.

Debbie and Carl are fighting over the TV remote, Ian and Mandy are gossiping in the corner, and Fiona is finishing up dinner.

Mickey has learned to love the predictable chaos of the Gallagher house. Chaos is it’s natural state. The Milkovich house was always an intense silence, only chaotic when someone was being beaten, and even then, the background was an eerie quiet.

Suddenly the door behind Lip and Mickey opens and in walks a tall blonde guy.

“The fuck is that?” Carl asks from his spot on the couch. Mickey slaps the back of his head while Mandy rushes toward the stranger.

“Everyone.” Mandy starts with a giddy smile on her face. “This is my boyfriend, Austin. Austin, this is Lip, my brother Mickey, Debbie, Carl, Fiona, and you already know Ian.”

Austin smiles charmingly, waving at everyone before making his way over to Ian and pulling him into a hug.

“Oh, he and Ian are very acquainted I see.” Lip says snarkily, right in Mickey’s ear, still trying to get under his skin.

Mickey tries to stay strong, he really does, but the Milkovich way is explosive, right from birth and he can’t hold it off any longer.

“Fuck off, Lip!” He yells. “I’m not gonna do this with you. You Gallaghers get pissed and then you go straight in for the kill. I’m not gonna let you serve all my insecurities up on a silver fucking platter just because you’re angry! If you wanna act like an adult and have a conversation, I’ll be back at the house, but otherwise, YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!” Mickey ends his rant by storming out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Lip looks around the room at all the eyes staring back at him before staggering out the door, chasing after the man he loves.

*

Mandy is shocked. She’s never seen Mickey quite like that. She turns to Ian and sees his eyes holding something she doesn’t quite recognize. As soon as it clicks, she grabs him by the shirt and yanks him outside.

“Geez, Mandy. What did I do?” Ian asks as Mandy shoves him into the railing of the porch.

“No. I saw that look and the answer is no.” She barks.

“What look?”

“We need to get something straight, right fucking now.” She growls. “If something happens between Lip and Mickey and they break up, that changes nothing for you.”

“I didn-“

“Lip is your brother. I know you think that’s what he did to you, but it’s not the fucking same. If you used that vunerability and tried to get with Mickey after they broke up, that really would be the final straw for all of your family. Mickey is like a brother to them now. If you crossed that line, they could never forgive you.”

Ian stays silent, knowing that arguing never gets him anywhere with Mandy when a new voice speaks up.

“Hey, take it easy on him.” Austin defends. “I know I don’t really know this situation but-“

“That’s right. You don’t know.” Mandy snaps. “This is a family thing so butt the fuck out, Austin.”

Austin nods stiffly, jaw tight before grabbing his coat and heading to his car. Mandy shakes her head and walks back inside leaving Ian to his thoughts.

*

“Mickey!” Lip calls, running into the house they share. “Mickey, you’re here, right?”

Mickey enters the living room slowly from their bedroom.

“Oh thank god.” Lip breathes, rushing forward to pull Mickey into a hug. Mickey returns it gently before pulling back. Before he can say anything, Lip speaks up.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. You’re right, I was being immature and childish, but I was pissed and-“

“Look, Lip. We can’t do this anymore.” Mickey says solemnly.

“What, are you breaking up with me?” Lip jokes, only to see the serious look on Mickey’s face.

“You know I love you, right? I love you so much.” Mickey says.

“No. No. No. You can’t do this to me.” Lip eyes start to water. “You can’t do this to us, please.”

“Lip.” Mickey cups his cheek. “I’m not breaking up with you, but we can’t live like this anymore. We aren’t scared, confused teenagers living in poverty anymore. We have to talk about our feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

“This whole fight happened because neither of us could have an adult conversation about our future. I got defensive, you shut down. It’s not healthy.”

“Oh, what? We gonna go to therapy or some shit then?”

Mickey shrugs. “Maybe, if that’s what it takes.”

“C’mon, Mickey.”

“I’m serious.” Mickey assures. “If we want any chance of making it long term, we have to learn how to talk about things like adults. That’s how life works.”

“Yeah? And what if I don't want to?” Lip asks.

“Then I don’t think we can do this anymore.” Mickey responds.

“Are you serious?”

“Lip, if we keep going like this, one day we are going to destroy each other, for good. We will pick and scratch and dig at each other until there is nothing left.” Mickey explains. “I love you and I don’t want to ruin you, but that is where we are headed if we don’t try and change.”

Lip bites his cheek, confused by the man standing in front of him.

“I thought our whole relationship was that we didn’t try to change each other.” Lip utters sadly.

“Hey.” Mickey says, putting his hands on either side of Lip’s face. “I’m not trying to change you, just the way we communicate, okay? I love you and I love us, just not the way fight. The way we are was perfect when I was a little miserable bitch scared of my father and you were terrified of commitment, but we’re not that anymore, right? We’ve already changed without even knowing it. I just want us to take that last step, okay?”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. An explosive chapter. Hopefully you don't hate Lip. I just thought this was a progression in their relationship that I didn't want to skip over.
> 
> Also, good/important things are gonna happen for Ian, so if you're feeling sorry for him right about now, stay tuned.
> 
> Hope you're still enjoying this story!


	13. Are You Done?

Ian kind of hates himself right now. He watched the down fall of two relationships last night, and he feels like both fights were his fault.

Currently, he’s on his way over to Lip’s to apologize. It’s part of this new thing that he’s doing to get over Mickey and be a better person. He’s got to own up to his faults. Ian’s still not sure how this fight was his fault, but if he’s learned anything since he’s been back, it’s that most things are his fault in some way.

He knocks on their door at ten in the morning, waiting for answer. When he’s met with only silence, he checks the knob and finds that it’s unlocked. He figures that Lip must be in the shower or something so he pushes the door open and slips inside.

He wanders toward the bedroom and hears a voice. He opens the door only to be met with the sight of his brother railing into Mickey.

“Holy shit!” He yells involuntarily.

Mickey and Lip turn toward him with a matching look of horror on their faces.

“What the fuck, Ian?” Lip shouts, covering his and Mickey’s bodies with a sheet.

“I-. I didn’t-. Fuck.” Ian stammers before darting out of the room and back out the front door. He doesn’t stop moving until he’s on the sidewalk. He falls down to the curb and tries not to think about what he just saw.

“Fuck.” He repeats, pressing his palms into his eyes to erase all the images stuck there.

When he hears the front door open and close, he drops his head into his hands. He honestly doesn’t know which half of the duo he hopes is headed his way. Both are probably pissed at him right now, so who knows what will happen.

A body plops down beside him and Ian recognizes it as Lip. Ian sighs, peeking up at his brother’s face through his fingers.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes.

“We’re cool.” Lip shrugs. “I know you didn’t mean to, uh, interrupt.” He smirks.

Ian nods, hating the overall awkward feel that he has when he’s around his brother these days.

“What were you doing here, though?” Lip asks.

“I just came to apologize. You guys were fighting last night and I’m sure it’s my fault in some way so I-“

“It wasn’t your fault.” Lip scoffs.

“What?”

“We were fighting becau-“ Lip stops himself. He can’t just tell Ian that he and Mickey were talking about marriage, not like this. “We weren’t fighting about you.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s good, I guess.” Ian pushes himself up off the curb. “Sorry again.”

“Yeah, see you around, man” Lip says, standing up as well and patting Ian on the back.

“Wait, Lip.” Ian calls, prompting his brother to turn back around. He takes a deep breath, remembering a time where he wasn’t afraid to ask his older brother anything. When all his thoughts and feelings were the same as the man standing in front of him.

“Are we ever gonna be us again? How we were before?”

Lip shrugs. “I don’t know, Ian.” He responds honestly, watching Ian’s face drop. “But I hope so.”

Lip watches his brother nod and walk off into the distance, worrying that too much has happened in the past six years for him and Ian to go back to who they once were.

He turns around and heads back into the house to see if his boyfriend is even still awake.

He shuffles into the bedroom to see Mickey lying there butt naked with his eyes closed. He stares at him for a second, still kind of pissed that Ian interrupted them before they could finish this morning.

Mickey’s eyes slip open like he senses Lip’s presence.

“How did go with my secret boyfriend out there?” Mickey teases.

“Too soon for jokes.” Lip quips, laying down next to Mickey. As soon as his back hits the bed, Mickey wraps his body around him, nuzzling his face into Lip’s neck.

“I’m gonna have to tell him.” Lip says solemnly.

“Tell him what?” Mickey frowns.

“We’re talking about marriage. It might take a while, but we’ll get there eventually, won’t we?”

Mickey nods. Even though he hadn’t really thought about it before yesterday, it’s the next natural step and it is something he wants.

“And we’re gonna do it whether or not Ian’s ready or over you, right?”

“Of course.” Mickey nods again.

“So I think the best thing for me to do would be to give him plenty of notice. I don’t wanna tell him a week before the wedding and then just hope he won’t have another mental breakdown in the middle of the ceremony.”

“Woah. Woah. Slow down. Wedding? Ceremony? Aren’t we just going down to the fucking courthouse and signing a piece of paper?”

Lip arches an eyebrow. “Uhhh no. We both have a lot of people who care about us and will want to be there. I mean, not a huge event, but yeah, we’re having a wedding.” Lip says with finality.

Mickey buries his face in Lip’s chest, groaning.

“When do we get to do something that I want to do?” He whines.

Lip laughs. “What do you want to do?”

Mickey makes a face like he’s thinking. “A threesome.” Mickey jokes, peeking up at Lip with one eye.

“If you say with my brother, I’ll leave you.” Lip says, completely serious.

Mickey giggles quietly, vibrating Lip’s neck. It’s so fucking cute that Lip can’t help but kiss his little cheeks.

He leans back and stares at the boy in front of him, with his plump cheeks, ice blue eyes, and inviting grin.

“You know, I never thought a grown man could be cute until I met you.” Lip smiles, flipping their bodies over so he is hovering over his boyfriend.

Mickey looks up at Lip, scowling.

“I’m not cute.” He pouts, raising his chin defiantly.  

“Sorry, dude, but you are. I mean, this little pout you’re doing…” Lip runs a finger over Mickey’s bottom lip that’s jutted out. “So fucking cute.”

Mickey bites the inside of his cheek. He pulls Lip down on top of him, pressing his face into Lip’s shoulder to hide his blush.

Lip kisses Mickey’s temple, feeling the man’s breaths fan over his chest.

“Yeah, fucking cute.” Lip whispers, running his hands up and down Mickey’s arms, letting himself slip back asleep.

*

“You know,” Mickey starts as he eats breakfast across from Lip. “I’ve been thinking about getting a new tattoo.”

“Of my face?” Lip perks up, teasing. “Ooo! Or my signature across your ass.”

“Fuck off.” Mickey laughs. “I don’t know what of.”

“We could get matching tattoos.” Lip gasps with a new idea. “We could rings tattooed instead of buying that ugly gold shit.”

“Okay.” Mickey shrugs.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Why not? If we’re gonna get married anyway.”

Lip pulls his laptop in front of him, whipping it open.

“I’ll start looking at designs.” He grins.

“Okay, I’ll call the place, we’ll go tomorrow.” Mickey offers, reaching for his cell phone.

“Call the shop on 34th. I need to get my hair cut at the place next door.” Lip says.

“No!” Mickey says swiftly, setting the phone down like it burned him. “No haircut.”

“What? Why?” Lip asks.

“I like your curls.” Mickey mumbles, face going red with embarrassment.

 Lip smirks at his boyfriend’s reaction. He finds it adorable that Mickey still blushes anytime he’s forced to talk about how he likes Lip, as though he’s a child with a crush.

Lip gets up from his seat and walks over to Mickey, straddling his lap.

“Oh you like my curls, huh?” He teases, kissing at Mickey’s cheek and neck.

“Shut up.” Mickey breathes as Lip continues nipping at his face.

“You want me to stop?” Lip asks challengingly, grinding down on Mickey’s lap.

“Fuck off.” Mickey moans, tugging Lip forward for a deep kiss, sucking on his bottom lip.

Mickey pulls back for a moment, slowing down their usually rapid pace and tapping his forehead against Lip’s.

“I love you.” He sighs contently.

“I love you too.”

*

Lip sits on the Gallagher couch running his fingers over the intricate black design across the base of his ring finger.

As soon as he got the tattoo he realized that he loved having this symbol of Mickey on his body where he could see it all the time.

Right now, he’s bouncing his leg anxiously, a nervous tick that he’s never been able to shake.

Ian was supposed to meet Lip here thirty minutes ago and his tardiness is not doing anything to ease Lip’s anxiety.

Today is the day that Lip tells Ian that he and Mickey are going to get married, and he’s dreading the conversation whole heartedly.

The front door swings open and in rushes Ian, apologies rolling off his tongue. Lip stands at his entrance, hoping the movement will help expel the last of his uneasiness.

“Sorry, Lip! I’m so sorry! I missed the L so I had to walk here from the Northside.”

“We’re cool. It’s cool. Just, uh-. Take a seat.” Lip gestures toward the couch before sitting himself.

“So, uh, what’s this about?” Ian asks apprehensively. Lip takes a deep breath, letting it out harshly.

“Okay, well, this isn’t exactly a fun conversation to have, but I felt like you deserved a heads up.”

“Okay…” Ian prompts Lip to continue.

“Me and Mickey are getting married.” Lip forces out, bracing himself for Ian’s reaction.

“That’s great.” Ian swallows. He’s not sure if this really changes anything. He figured that at this point it was inevitable anyway, not to mention that he's just numb to most things these days. 

“And I need you to be okay with it. I can’t have you melting down at the reception or trying to stop the ceremony or-“

“Fuck you.” Ian interrupts, a hard look taking over his face. “I’m not a fucking child and I’m tired of everyone talking down to me.”

“Ian, I’m just-“

“No! It’s my turn to speak.” Ian commands, standing. “I’m sorry that my physical presence makes everyone feel so uneasy, but I am not the scapegoat for all your fucking problems. I have not talked with your boyfriend or come on to your boyfriend. I’ve barely laid a fucking hand on him.” Ian growls.

“Ian-“

“I’m sorry that I had a breakdown and rocked your whole fucking world with a few words, but my meds crapped out on me. It’s not my fucking fault. And now everyone is demanding that I just change how I feel? I’m not some sort of barrier standing in your way. How I feel is none of your fucking business. Stop blaming me for your own insecurities!” Ian shouts.

“I didn’t even ask you for your fucking forgiveness. That was Fiona. That was Mandy. If being around me is too much for you, then leave me alone! Cause I’m done. Go have your wedding. Be with your boyfriend. And stop pretending that I’m a monster that’s come to ruin your life because I’m not.”

Ian takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

“I’m your fucking brother and I’ve done nothing wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are our thoughts and feelings after this? Are you team Lip or Ian?


	14. What Do You Want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter! Sorry for the late update. I'll try to have my shit together next week, but for now: Enjoy!

****Lip and Mickey are woken up from their nap by a new body plopping down on their bed.

Both boys peek to see a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at them.

“Maaaandyyyyy.” Lip sings.

Mandy laughs. “Is he fucking high?”

“This addict loves his afternoon joint.” Mickey shrugs.

“Is it really better that he smokes weed everyday instead of drinking?” Mandy asks. Lip nods against Mickey’s chest but doesn’t say anything.

“Well, we know that alcohol kills people, so I think weed is better until some scientist tells us it’s not.” Mickey explains.

“Huh?”

“People thought cigarettes were fine for a while too. Turns out that shit will kill you bad.” Mickey supplies.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Mandy scoffs. “You smoke like a chimney.”

Mickey frowns. “I don’t smoke.”

“Since when?”

“Since you left for a fucking year.” Lip mumbles from where he’s tucked into Mickey’s side.

“Boom, get her.” Mickey giggles.

Mickey thinks that the best thing about dating someone who is a bigger smartass than you, is that they aren’t afraid to speak out against your family when they fuck up.

Mandy hangs her head a little, still really embarrassed of how she acted.

“Mands.” Mickey sighs, pulling his little sister against his chest and kissing her forehead. “He’s just kidding. We’re okay.” 

Mandy nods, resting her head next to Lip’s. She squints, studying the boy’s face.

“Why’d I ever think this fucking lemur look was cute?”

“Yeah.” Mickey laughs. “What’s up with that?”

“Shut up.” Lip pouts, hiding his face against Mickey’s arm. “Why are you even here, Mandy?”

Mandy sits up, indicating that she means business.

“I don’t know what to do about Austin.” She starts.  

“What do you mean? What happened?” Mickey questions.

“I had a fight with Ian after you guys left and Austin got in middle, trying to defend Ian and I haven’t spoken to him since.” She explains.

“So, you’re mad he didn’t take your side?” Lip tries to understand.

“Kind of, but also, can I date someone who is best friends with my best friend? Ian is usually my unbiased opinion when shit goes down with the guy I’m dating, but with Austin, Ian isn’t unbiased.” Mandy frets.

“Well, you’ve known Ian a lot longer. He’ll still be on your side if push came to shove.” Lip assures her.

“Wait, what was the fight even about?” Mickey asks.

Mandy sighs. “I kind of jumped to the conclusion that you guys were fighting about Ian and I was drunk, so I really laid into him. I wa-“

“Fuck.” Lip interrupts, sounding much more sober than he was a minute ago.

“What?” Mickey and Mandy ask.

“I didn’t think he was right, but he’s so fucking right.” Lip says vaguely.

“Jesus, Lip, spit it out.” Mandy grumbles.

“Ian told me that we all have been piling on him since he got back and using him as a scapegoat and I thought he was just pissed, but I think he’s right.”

“Wait. When did he say that?” Mickey asks.

“We, uh, kinda got into a big fight when I went to talk to him.” Lip answers shyly.

“A fight about what?”

“About everything. About how we’ve all treated him. I mean he’s been through a lot of shit, but instead of ever having an adult conversation with him, I just pounced because of my personal issues.” Lip explains.

“I think we all owe him an apology.” Mandy adds, an ashamed look on her face.

“Let me talk to him.” Mickey speaks up, causing his sister and boyfriend to shoot him an equally shocked and confused look.

“What?”

“I’ve stayed far away because I thought everything was handled and I knew how Lip felt, but maybe it’s time that I talk to him. He might be more honest with me.” Mickey expands.

“Okay.” Lip nods.

“Really?” Mandy asks, shooting Lip a questioning look.

Lip snuggles further into Mickey, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I trust you.” Lip whispers.

*

“I shouldn’t have done that, right?” Ian asks. “That was too much, right?”

“I don’t know.” Fiona shrugs. She can tell that her brother is truly conflicted about what he said, but she honestly doesn’t know the answer.

“I mean, he has been really abrasive to you lately, but we both know we’d act similarly if we were in his position.” She adds.

“I know. It’s just that ever since I’ve been back, I’ve tried to be agreeable because of all that I did and caused, but in the process, I’ve let Lip walk all over me.” Ian sighs. “But I might’ve gone too far.”

“I wasn’t there so I can’t say, Ian, but what I do know is that Lip is probably kicking himself right now because you weren’t wrong.” Fiona says. “He’s been acting as though you’re the root of all his problems and that’s just not true.”

“Yeah, that’s all I wanted to say and I know I should’ve stayed calm, but Lip just gets me all fucking amped up and I lost it.” Ian admits.

“Well, the good news is that I’m sure you guys will be fine eventually.” Fiona assures her brother. “You’ll apologize, he’ll apologize and everything will be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

*

Mickey is seated on his bed, phone in his hand, staring at a number he hasn’t dialed in half a decade.

It was only about fifteen minutes after his declaration that he realized that maybe he wasn’t the best person to talk to Ian.

Why would he think that he and Ian still have some sort of connection? They haven’t hardly talk since Ian got back and they didn’t even have a good relationship all those years ago.

The real reason Mickey volunteered to have this talk is because he feels guilty. He still feels a little responsible for Ian leaving. He said those horrible things to him and Ian left.

Life worked out for Mickey in the years since then, but Ian struggled and suffered. Sure, Mickey made better decisions than Ian, but it seems that Mickey’s words were the catalyst for Ian’s breakdown.

Mickey pushes the doubt and fears from his mind and dials the number, hearing it ring five times and go to voicemail.

Mickey lets out a sigh of relief. Voicemail is easier, less awkward.

“Hey, Ian. It’s Mickey. I was hoping you’d be willing to meet me to talk about the whole Lip thing. Call me back.”

*

Lip is napping on his couch when he is awoken by a punch to the shoulder.

“The fuck?” He groans, sitting up and taking in the site of an angry Debbie in front of him, Fiona lounging in a chair behind her.

“Why didn’t you listen to Fiona?” Debbie scolds. “I know it’s annoying that she’s always right, but it saves you time in the long run.”

“What’d I do this time?” Lip mumbles, crossing his arms across his chest defensively.

“I told you to cut Ian some slack.” Fiona says calmly. “But instead you just blamed him for all your shit.”

“And now he’s moping around the house because he feels bad for yelling at you.” Debbie adds.

“What? Are you two his personal pep squad?” Lip quips.

“No. We’re just decent human beings that care about our brother.” Debbie shoots back.

“Look, I know he was right. I’ll back off, okay?” Lip assures. “Now did you just come here to tag team me or is there something else?”

“There’s one more thing.” Fiona says. “Get Mickey in here.”

“MICKEY!” Lip yells.

“Fuck, Lip.” Fiona reprimands. “I could’ve done that.”

“What’s up?” Mickey asks, taking in the little posse in his living room.

“I’m having family dinner Saturday and there will be no fucking fights.” Fiona says sternly. “Not even one cross word, got it?”

Lip and Mickey nod, prompting Fiona and Debbie to say their goodbyes and leave.

“Jesus.” Lip grunts, rubbing his shoulder. “I wish Debbie never went to that fucking boxing class.”

*

Ian rolls out of bed and hears his phone buzzing. He decides to just let it ring and go use the bathroom.

When he comes back, his eyes nearly pop out of his head at the name rolling across his screen.

**_Mickey Milkovich – One Missed Voicemail_ **

Ian just assumed he wouldn’t be hearing from Lip or Mickey for a long time.

What in the world could Mickey be calling him for?


	15. Is It Supposed to Be Like This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short chapter but I think it's an important part as we work our way toward the end. Hope you enjoy!

“So…” Mandy sighs, staring at her hands instead of the man in front of her.

Austin just tilts his head and waits for Mandy to continue. In fact, he hasn’t said a single word since they got to this coffee shop. 

Austin is strong willed and it’s one of the things that drew Mandy to him, but right now, that stubborn attitude isn’t doing Mandy any favors.

“Look, Austin. I’m sorry. Ian’s my best friend and this whole weird three-way relationship is new territory for me.” She explains. “I’m used to Ian taking my side and my boyfriend taking my side so when you defended him without even knowing the situation, you caught me off guard.”

Austin sighs, starting to feel a little guilty. 

“I understand.” He nods. “And I am on your side. I promise. You were just yelling and yelling and Ian was so fragile when I met him so I stepped in without really thinking.” 

“I get that.” Mandy says. “But Ian’s like my brother and I’d never intentionally hurt him, ya know?”

“I know. You've known him longer than I have and I can see how close you two are. I have just have that stupid hero complex and in that moment, Ian looked a little lost. But I am sorry, Mandy. I really like you and I don't want this to end us.” Austin says honestly. 

"Me neither." Mandy nods.

“So, are we good or?”

Mandy giggles, moving to straddle Austin’s lap, regardless of the fact that they are in a crowded cafe. 

“We’re good.” She grins, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. 

*

Fiona has been watching Ian pace back and forth in the kitchen for the last half hour. 

It’s not until he starts to tap his forehead against the wall that she decides to intervene. 

She walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter.

“So what’s this?” She smirks. 

Ian turns and slides down the wall until his butt hits the ground. 

“I’m meeting Mickey today.” He answers, eyes trained straight ahead. 

“What do you mean you’re meeting him?” Fiona frowns. 

“I don’t really know.” Ian shrugs. “He left me a message that he wants to talk so I texted him to meet me here in a hour.”

Fiona squats down to meet Ian’s eye line. 

“Should I leave or call 911 or?” She jokes.

“Who could say?” Ian sighs. “It might be some elaborate plot to just kill me and put me out of my misery.” 

Fiona laughs. “911 it is then.”

She stands up and reaches down to pull Ian up as well. She wraps her arms around him in a classic, squeezing, Fiona hug before walking him to sit at the table. 

“Mickey is the softy in that relationship, okay? Play to his empathy and maybe he’ll miss his kill shot.” She smirks. 

“Seriously though, what could he want to talk about?” Ian huffs. 

“Why don’t you just ask him?” A new voice calls out.

Fiona and Ian both swivel around and come face to face with Mickey Milkovich himself. 

“Oh, hi Mickey.” Ian squeaks out. 

“Hey, Fi, can we have a minute?” Mickey asks softly. 

She nods and exits the room, leaving the two men in complete silence.

Mickey slides into the seat across Ian and leans back, seemingly studying the other man. 

“You scared to talk to me, Ian?” Mickey arches an eyebrow. 

“You know, I’m still getting used to you saying my first name.” Ian says, causing Mickey to laugh. 

“It’s a great name.” Mickey teases as he watches Ian visibly relax. “Look, I’m just here to try and remedy this mess that you and your brother created.” 

Ian nods, assuming as much. 

“There was never supposed to be some confrontation when Lip told you about our probable wedding.” Mickey explains. 

“I know.” Ian nods. “He just used my illness against me, whether or not he meant to, and I lost it.” 

“And that’s on him.” Mickey agrees. “But I’m not here to apologize for my boyfriend. Not really.” 

“Then why are you here?” Ian asks. 

“Look, there’s no guide for how to proceed here or how this whole thing works, you know? If I could just reset everything that happened, I would.” Mickey says. 

“Really?” Ian frowns, face taking on a hurt expression.

“I was a dick to you, Ian. And I feel partially responsible for what happened to you after you left, but you have to admit that you really built us up in your mind while you were gone, right?” 

“Yeah.” Ian nods. “We fucked and that was it and I know that, but I was a hopeless romantic as a teen and I let it build and build until I tricked myself into believing we had some storybook, forbidden love story.”

“It was more like a complete shit show.” Mickey laughs and Ian joins in. 

“Ian, in an ideal world, this could all be put behind us and you might even be Lip’s best man, but I don’t want you to feel forced into anything. You can just come to the wedding as a guest or even skip it all together if it’s too weird, but please don’t let me be the reason you and your brother never have a relationship.” Mickey pleads. “I’m really not that great.” He jokes.

“Okay.” Ian nods. “Just uh, give me a few days and then I’ll talk to Lip, yeah?”

“Will do!” Mickey grins, mock-saluting Ian as he gets up and exits the house. 

As soon as the door closes behind him, Ian lays his head down on the table and groans. 

“If you weren’t in love with him before…” 

“Oh, fuck off, Fiona.” 

*

When Mickey enters his house that afternoon, he almost runs smack into his boyfriend, who is waiting behind the door like a puppy who needs to pee. 

“Oh, hello.” Mickey grins, pressing a quick peck Lip’s cheek before moving around him to go grab a beer. 

Lip tracks Mickey with his eyes as the man walks to the fridge and then the couch before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.

Lip waits only a few more seconds before he just can’t take it anymore.

He stalks over and yanks the remote out of his boyfriend’s hand and seats himself in front of Mickey on the coffee table. 

“Well?” Lip asks, annoyance clear in his voice.

“Well what?” Mickey squints, feigning ignorance. 

“Oh, c’mon Mickey! You went and talked to Ian. Now stop playing hard to get and tell me what happened!” He squeals. 

“Okay. Okay. It was fine, yeah?” Mickey shrugs. “I apologized and told him that it was up to him how involved he was in the wedding. That he could choose to come or not come.”

“What?” Lip chokes out, huge, blue eyes bugging out of his head. 

Mickey grabs one of Lip’s hands, pushing his fingers in between his boyfriend’s. 

“Look, I know it’s tough to imagine having your wedding without your closest brother there, but you can’t force him to come.” Mickey placates. “He’s a grown man and if he doesn’t want to see us get married, then he has that right.”

“He can’t just get over it for one day?” Lip whines.

“Lip, you gotta stop pressing this issue, okay?” Mickey says gently. “It’s hard to read Ian’s thoughts, but I think he’s well on his way to being okay with us. But that can only progress if you lay back a little bit, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Lip mumbles, eyes cast downward. “I just wish I could fix it, ya know? Before Ian left, I was his fixer. The person he came to with any problem, looking for the answer, but now I’m the problem and I don’t know how to help.”

“I know.” Mickey sympathizes, raising Lip's chin with his hand. “Just be patient with him. This is something he has to solve on his own.” 


	16. The Next Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, but I wanted to get something out to you guys so you didn't think I forgot about you! Hopefully I'll have a longer chapter for you next week :)))))

Lip and Mickey are curled up together in their bed when they are jolted awake by the weight of another person bouncing down next to them. 

Mickey opens one eye and spots Mandy sitting criss-cross beside him, a giddy smile taking over her face. 

“This is starting to become a habit.” Lip mumbles, hiding his face in his pillow. 

“Sooooooo” Mandy starts, holding out the word singingly. “I just got off the phone with Ian.”

“And?” Mickey prompts, eyes only open a sliver.

“And let’s talk!” She squeals. “Let’s talk cake. Let’s talk venue. Let’s talk tuxedos. I’m ready to plan this bitch.” She enunciates the expletive with a loud clap. 

Mickey scoffs, turning his head away from his overly excited sister. 

“I didn’t hire you, hoe.” He grunts. 

“Oh, I’m free of charge, baby. Best deal in town.” She quips. “So tell me your vision for this thing. I’m thinking black and white aesthetic. Maybe the Cheney Mansion. It only holds about 150 people, but you two are hermits so it’ll work.” 

“Isn’t that place expensive?” Lip pipes up. 

“You’re a rich bitch. I think you can swing it.” She snarks. “Now, c’mon! Get up! I planned a whole day for us.”

Mickey and Lip groan in unison.

“I thought you said you just got off the phone with Ian?” Mickey asks. “How can you have already organized a whole day?” 

“Your sister works fast, Mick. She’s got connections.” Mandy grins. “Now let’s go!” 

Mandy hops off the bed and scurries into the kitchen, but not before slapping both her brother and Lip on the ass. 

“Fuck off!” They yell as she giggles her way to the coffee machine. 

*

“So this is open area where we have a pavilion and space for tables if you would like your reception to be outdoors or you can have the reception in the large hall that we walked through earlier.” 

Lip and Mandy nod as the lady leads them through the grounds of Cheney Mansion while Mickey follows behind, kicking at rocks and not listening. 

“If you choose to be outdoors but the weather on your big day turns out bad, you can preemptively reserve the indoor area as well to prevent any panic.” The lady adds.

“I’m sure that costs extra though?” Lip quips.

“Well, it’s just a small fee since that would mean you were renting out all of our facilities.” She responds.

“Of course.” Lip mumbles. 

Mandy looks around in wonderment. 

“Mick, are you paying attention? This place is perfect!” Mandy cheers. 

Lip looks over at his groom to be, whose eyes are still trained on the ground below him, tuning out Mandy’s enthusiasm. 

“Why don’t you give us a moment to discuss it?” Lip asks the tour guide politely.

“Absolutely! Take all the time you need.” She smiles before shuffling away from the husbands to be. 

As soon as she is out of sight, Lip tries to decipher the look on Mickey’s face. 

“Mandy, can you talk a walk?” Lip hints that he wants time alone with his boyfriend.

“I’ll check out the garden.” She says distractedly, already running that way.

Lip continues to study Mickey’s expression. 

“So what is it?” Lip asks. “You don’t like this place or are you having second thoughts about the wedding?”

Mickey shrugs, making Lip’s heart stop. When Mickey looks up to meet Lip’s eyes, he quickly revises his movement. 

“Wait, no! I don’t have second thoughts about you!” Mickey assures Lip. “It’s just-. I know I said we need to grow and evolve or whatever, but is this shit where we’re headed?” 

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t us, is it?” Mickey asks. “Getting married in an over-the-top pavilion that overlooks some historic mansion?” 

“Hey, this was Mandy’s place, remember?” Lip wraps his hand around Mickey’s. “I don’t care where we get married, just that we do it.” 

Mickey smiles, looking up at Lip in love. 

“Me too.” 

“So, wanna ditch?” Lip offers. 

“Well, this place is beautiful, but is there any way to tone it down a little?” 

“Like how?”

“Like no pavilion and maybe instead of a fancy reception, we just go back to the Alibi and smoke weed.” Mickey suggests. 

“I'd love that.” Lip chuckles, leaning in to slot his lips over Mickey’s. 

“Have we made any decisions?” The tour guide interrupts. 

“Yeah, actually.” Lip answers. “We’d like to have just our ceremony here, no reception.”

"And we want it in the garden." Mickey adds. "No pavilion." 

“Alright!” The lady squeaks. “We have a last minute opening in two weeks or we have a few spots in February of 2018.”

Lip and Mickey turn to each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes before looking back at the lady. 

“Two weeks would be great.” Mickey says. 

“Awesome! I will put down the Gallagher-Milkovich wedding for two weeks from today!”

“What?” Mandy gasps. 


	17. Here We Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof. I know it's been a while, but we're in the home stretch. This chapter is a little short, but I wanted to get something out so you'd know I hadn't abandoned the story. 
> 
> Also, there's only 2-3 chapters left so strap in!!

“Well, I’m glad everyone could join us here today.” Lip starts from his stance at the end of the table.

“Fuck off, Lip. We’re not your employees.” Fiona quips from her seat.

“You know what, Fiona? I’ll-“

Before Lip can finish his threat, Mickey yanks him down in his chair by the back of his shirt.

“Cool it.” Mickey whispers. “We need them.”

“Oh, right.” Lip takes a deep breath and lets Mickey take over.

“So, as Mandy already knows. Our wedding is in ten days.” Mickey announces.

“You’re kidding me.” Fiona breathes, sliding in her seat.

“Holy shit!” Debbie gasps. “We have so much to do. How are we gon-”

“We’re okay, Debs.” Mandy calms the other girl.

“Yeah, we have a venue for the ceremony and Kev already gave us the green light to have the reception at the Alibi.” Mickey assures her.

“We just need suits for us and the boys, and dresses for you three.” Lip adds.

“Okay.” Fiona nods confidently. “I have a few formal dresses on hold at Macy’s, so we can go tomorrow and try them out.”

“Why do you have-. Never mind.” Mandy stops herself, realizing there are bigger things at play right now.

“We’re gonna need you guys’ help these next few days if we’re gonna pull this off, okay?” Mickey asks.

“You can count on us!” Debbie smiles.

Her and Mandy leave the table to talk flowers while Fiona lags behind.

She stares at her brother and his boyf-, wait, fiancé, and studies them.

 

“You talk to Ian, yet?” She speaks up.

“No.” Lip shakes his head. “But I’m going to today.”

Fiona raises her eyebrows.

“I already told him before that how involved he is in this is up to him. No pressure.” Mickey assures her. “And I’ll go with this firecracker today and make sure he stays cool.”

“Okay.” Fiona responds, slightly appeased. “Just don’t hurt him, yeah?”

“I promise.” Mickey smiles, nudging Lip, who nods as well.

*

“And then I tripped and spilled the whole tray of food all over her. She was fucking furious. Can you believe that?”

Austin finished his story and looked to Ian, but his best friend’s mind was anywhere but here in this coffee shop.

“Ian, are you listening?”

“Hm?” Ian’s eyes snap over to Austin’s. “Oh, sorry, dude. Got lost in thought.”

“Any particular thought?” Austin smirks.

“I think something’s going on.” Ian says vaguely.

“Wanna elaborate a little bit?”

“Fiona, Debbie, and Mandy went to some secret meeting at Lip’s house.” Ian explains.

“And?” Austin frowns.

“And they’re probably talking about me!” Ian frets. “Why else would I be the only one not invited.”

“I don’t know, man.” Austin shrugs, worried about his friend. “That sucks.”

Ian smiles sadly.

“I think I’m just gonna take a walk. I need to think.”

*

Ian walks down the street aimlessly, just kicking rocks while his mind runs through all the possibilities of why his family is having this “meeting” without him.

After a minue or two he comes to the most logical conclusion.

Lip and Mickey are getting married.

It makes sense.

Lip and Mickey prepped him for it a few weeks ago and now the time has come.

The weirdest part of this revelation is that Ian has no real reaction to it.

Has he just become numb to it all? Or has he finally gotten over Mickey?

Either way, Ian decides not to question this newfound peace and heads home.

*

Ian walks through the door of Fiona’s house to find Mickey and Lip on the couch, waiting for him.

“This is starting to become a thing.” Ian says flatly, referring to the fact that people seem to be waiting for him every time he comes home.

“Ian, take a seat.” Lip says, ignoring his joke.

Mickey rolls his eyes at Lip’s flair for the dramatic as Ian plops down on a chair across from them.

“You’re getting married, right?” Ian says instead of waiting on the couple to make their grand announcement.

“Who told you?” Lip gasps.

“No one.” Ian snorts. “You had a secret meeting with everyone but me. I figured it out.”

“So…” Mickey starts quietly, unsure of how to broach the subject of whether or not Ian wants to come.

“So if you want me to be there, I’ll be there. And if you want me to steer clear, then that’s fine too.” Ian finishes simply.

Mickey and Lip look at each other in confused, completely caught off guard by Ian’s nonchalance.

“O-okay.” Mickey nods, turning back to Ian.

“Of course we want you there, Ian.” Lip says.

“If you want.” Mickey adds.

“Well, then it’s settled.” Ian says, standing up from his seat. “I’ll get the details from Mandy.”

And with that, Ian walks out the door, no further questions.

“What the fuck was that?” Lip asks after the door shuts behind Ian.

Mickey shrugs, leaning back on the couch.

“I have no fucking clue.”


	18. How Are We Gonna Do This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 
> 
> This is a short chapter, but I wanted to put something out there so you guys wouldn't think I abandoned this fic. I am gonna do my best to finish this fic up by the end of the month, so pray for me!

_T-minus 7 days til the wedding_

“Okay, guys. Where are we at?”

“Well, you got the bridesmaids dresses, right?” Debbie asks.

“Yeah.” Fiona nods “And Mandy, you covered the flowers and programs?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you guys have your tuxes, yes?”

When met with silence, the three girls turned to look at the two boys on the couch…who were tangled together, dead asleep.

“What the hell, you guys?” Fiona yells, chucking a pillow in their direction.

“Huh?” Mickey jerks out of sleep.

“We’re trying to plan your wedding over here, care to join?” Mandy smirks.

“We’re ready.” Lip mumbles without even opening his eyes.

“Oh really?” Debbie squints.

“Got our suits.” Mickey shrugs. “What else do we need?”

Fiona rolls her eyes.

“Why are you two so tired anyway? It’s noon.”

“We didn’t get much sleep last night.” Lip grins, eyebrows waggling, eyes still closed.

“Ew.” Debbie deadpans while Mandy makes gagging noises.

“Well, either way, perk up.” Fiona says. “Believe or not, there’s more to throwing a wedding together than just buying tuxedos.”

“Can you guys do it?” Mickey whines.

“Yeah.” Lip adds. “Consider it our wedding present.”

The girls groan but get up to head toward the bakery, leaving the boys to their beauty sleep.

Their wedding is in a week, so they’ll probably need it.

***

_T-minus 6 days to the wedding_

“Ian!” Mandy shouts, walking into their regular coffee shop and plopping down in the seat across from him. “Have you been avoiding me?”

Ian smiles, shaking his head.

“Really? Cause it feels like I get most of my information about you from my boyfriend.”

“I’ve just been processing everything.” Ian shrugs.

“Right, yeah. So how are you then?” Mandy asks.

“Honestly, I’m okay.” Ian nods. “I think I’m finally moving on, and maybe this wedding is the perfect closure for this chapter of my life.”

“I’m so happy for you!” Mandy beams.

“Thanks, Mands.”

“Well, I’m on wedding duty for the next week, but if there’s anything you need from me, you have my number.”

“Actually, I could use some help getting a suit.” Ian says hesitantly.

“Ooooo!” Mandy squeals. “I’m in!”

****

“So, I’m thinking the dark green or the charcoal gray.” Mandy tilts her head, studying the variety of suits in front of her.

“Really?” Ian frowns. “Cause I was thinking classic black or the navy blue.”

“Yeah, I like navy blue.” Austin adds from his spot behind Ian and Mandy.

“Shh shh. Honey, pipe down.” Mandy says, waving a hand back to shush her boyfriend, who just rolls his eyes and continues to play a game on his phone.

“Mands?” Ian arches an eyebrow in question.

“Fine, try on the navy blue again and see if that convinces me.”

Ian nods and smiles, picking up the suit and slipping into the dressing room.

“Babe.” Austin speaks up again. “I thought we talked about you telling me what I can and can’t do.”

“Please.” Mandy rolls her eyes. “You love it.”

Austin frowns, but knows she’s right.

Austin, like the Gallaghers and Milkoviches, practically raised himself, so he kind of relishes in not having to make every decision for once in his life.

That doesn’t mean that Mandy doesn’t go overboard sometimes, but he loves her either way.

“Okay!” Ian calls, sliding the curtain aside for the grand reveal. “Final thoughts?”

“Fuck.” Mandy mutters under her breath. “That’s the one.”

“Hell yeah!” Austin shouts, flipping his girlfriend off with both hands. “Suck it.”

Mandy swats at his hands but smiles despite herself.

“Well,” She grins. “At least I can check this off the list.”

***

_T-minus 5 days to the wedding_

“Lip!” Mickey yells from the bedroom. “Where are you?”

“In here!” Lip calls back. “Office!”

Mickey shuffles into the room they turned into Lip’s space once he started working from home most days.

“Whatcha doing?” Mickey asks, falling gracelessly across the couch that faces Lip’s desk.

“Googling how to elope.” He smirks.

“Tempting.”

“I’m excited about the actual wedding, but Debbie and Fiona are about to drive me insane.” Lip complains. “I thought we were doing low-key.”

“Apparently a low-key wedding is still a fuck ton of work.” Mickey shrugs. “Who knew?”

Lip grunts in response.

“Other than that, you good?” Mickey asks, sensing some unrelated tension on his fiancé’s face.

“Just trying to get some work stuff done.” Lip assures him. “One of our best tech guys decided to quit and leave us scrambling, this week of all weeks.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Lip nods. “But I’m figuring it out. Nothing will stop me from watching you walk down the aisle on Saturday.”

“Hmm, I’m walking down the aisle, am I?” Mickey smirks. “Who was it that bottomed last night?”

“Oh, so whoever bottomed last is the bitch? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I think most people would agree that you’re always a bitch.” Mickey teases.

“And you’re a dick.”

Mickey laughs, loud and free. He stands and presses a kiss to Lip’s forehead.

“Get to work, shithead.” Mickey calls as he leaves the office.

“I hate you.” Lip breathes.

“Love you too, baby!”


	19. Can We Pull This Off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left to go! Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me!

_ T-minus 4 days until the wedding _

“MANDY!” 

Mandy flinches as the sound of her brother’s screech fills the air. 

“That doesn’t sound good.” She squeaks. 

Mickey storms into the kitchen where Mandy and Debbie are seated at the table, folding programs. 

As soon as Mickey comes into sight, Mandy knows what this is about, the evidence in Mickey’s hands. 

“The fuck is this?” 

Debbie has to slap a hand over her mouth to suppress the laugh that threatens to bubble out at the sight of Mickey holding a stark white suit. 

“I thought it was nice?” Mandy says sheepishly.

“Where the fuck is my real suit? The plain, normal, black suit.” 

“C’mon, Mick. Two dudes in black tuxes is boring. I just wanted to change it up.” 

“Oooo, hot.” Lip quips as he walks past, wrapping an arm around Mickey’s waist. “Is there a matching veil?”

Lip presses a kiss to Mickey’s cheek before running away, barely escaping Mickey’s wrath. 

“Mandy.” He growls. 

She jumps up and grabs the suit from his hands. 

“I’ll take it back, okay? Calm down.” 

“Fucking better.” Mickey grunts, stomping back to his room.

“Talk about bridezilla.” Debbie smirks. 

“I heard that!” Mickey yells as the girls make a quick dash for the front door. 

***

_ T-minus 3 days until the wedding _

“Did you hear what those assholes did?” 

Lip looks up from his computer as Mickey paces back in forth in front of him.

“And by those assholes, you of course mean?”

“Our fucking sisters!” Mickey says as though it’s obvious.

“What did they do?” Lip humors his clearly angry fiancé. 

“They picked out our cake for us!” 

“Yeah, that’s part of the wedding planning, right?” Lip frowns.

“Um, hello! Cake tasting is the only part of the planning that I had any interest in!” 

Lip grins despite the fact that Mickey is all but fuming. 

“Mickey, we asked them to do everything for us. How could they know that cake tasting is the one thing you’d want to do?” 

Mickey’s face morphs into an expression that conveys to Lip that Mickey thinks he is clueless.

“Who the fuck wouldn’t wanna go and eat a bunch of cake?” 

“Hey, just say the word and I’ll have one of my interns bring a fuckton of cake over.” Lip offers. 

“You can’t just eat a bunch of cake for no reason!” 

“I feel like you can-“

“It’s the principle of the thing, Lip!” 

Lip squints at Mickey, trying to see the root of this whole cake debacle. 

“C’mere.” He says gently, waving Mickey over. 

The man pouts but walks behind the desk.

Lip pulls him down into his lap. 

“What’s really wrong?” He asks, tapping his forehead against Mickey’s.

“Nothing.” 

“Mickey.” 

Mickey huffs, laying his head on Lip’s shoulder. 

“What if we’re doing this wrong?” 

“Doing what wrong? Getting married?” Lip questions. 

“I dunno.” Mickey shrugs. “Are we rushing into this?” 

“We’ve been together for five years, and I don’t think anyone would say we really rushed things.” 

“It’s just happening so fast.” 

“You getting cold feet?” Lip teases, hoping that he’s doing a good job of masking his insecurity. 

“Never.” Mickey shakes his head against Lip’s neck. 

“Okay.”

Mickey pulls his face back so he can look Lip in the eye. 

“Hey, it’s just wedding jitters or whatever, but I love you, yeah? I’m always in if you’re with me.”

Lip smiles, pulling Mickey back into his arms. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

***

_ T-minus 2 days until the wedding _

“Baby!” Mandy yells, jerking Austin awake from his nap. “Does this look good? For the wedding?”

Austin frowns, taking in Mandy’s appearance. 

“What am I supposed to be looking at? You’re wearing my t-shirt and a pair of boxers.” 

“My makeup, dummy.”

“Oh!” Austin nods. “It’s good.”

“Just good?” 

“You look hot. Amazing.” He tries to amend. 

“Ugh! You’re not helping.” 

“Babe, all makeup looks the same to me." Austin sighs. "You know it’s not your wedding, right?”

“And you know that I like to be the center of attention at any event.” Mandy says with finality. “So, red or pink lipstick?” 

***

_ T-minus 1 day until the wedding _

“So” Austin starts, shoving the last bite of his bagel into his mouth. “How ya holding up?”

“Do you know how many times you’ve asked me that this week?” Ian sighs.

“Yeah, but we’re down to the wire now. Less than 24 hours.” 

“Fuck, I know.” Ian groans. 

“So?”

“Well I feel fine right now, but I do have that little voice in the back of my head. What if I freak out during the wedding? I don’t wanna prove Lip right.” 

“Ian, from what I can see, and I am your best friend,” Austin grins. “You’re gonna be fine. And I’ll be there to hold your hand if you need me.” 

Ian huffs out a laugh, throwing his napkin across the table where it hits Austin right between the eyes. 

“Seriously though, I’m sure you’ll do great.” Austin assures. "Just a little wedding, right?"

Ian nods, smile fading into something more serious.

“I, uh, think I need to take a walk.” 

“Okay.” Austin says uncertainly. “Just remember, Fiona’s house bright and early tomorrow.” 

Austin watches as Ian hurries out of the café, shoving the door open and breaking into sprint once his feet hit the asphalt. 

“Uh-oh.” 


	20. The Wedding

“What do you mean you don’t know where he is, Austin?”

“What else could that mean, Mandy?” Austin says exasperatedly. “We talked yesterday at the coffee shop and I haven’t seen him since.”

“How did he seem?” Fiona asks.

“Well…”

“Spit it out, Austin.” Mandy barks.

“He did kind of, like, flee.”

“What?” Debbie frowns.

“Well we were talking about the wedding and he seemed fine and all, but then he said he needed to take a walk, which is normal, but as soon as he was out of the café, he started running away, like honest to God sprinting.” Austin finishes, bracing himself for the reaction.

“Shit.” Fiona breathes.

“I texted him last night and this morning, but no response.”

“Why didn’t you stop him?” Mandy questions.

“Are you serious?” Austin throws his hands in the air. “He’s a grown ass man. I can’t hold him hostage.”

Mandy grumbles something like 'I think you could've'. 

“What are we gonna do?” Debbie probes.

“I don’t know, Debs.” Fiona shakes her head. “But no one says anything to Lip or Mickey until the last second, okay? Maybe Ian just overslept or something, right?”

***

“Lip, you’re the best thing that ever ha-. No that’s stupid.” Mickey sighs, scratching out the words. “I love you more than anyo-. Ugh this sucks too.”

Mickey wads up the piece of paper and throws it across the room before crossing his arms over his chest and sliding down in his seat.

Mandy opens the door to the room, barely dodging the crumbled paper.

“Something wrong, big brother?” She grins.

“Writing vows is stupid.” Mickey whines, eyes fixated on the ground.

Mandy smiles, walking over to lean against the edge of the chair, placing a hand on Mickey’s shoulder.

“Just wing it.” She shrugs. “Speak from the heart or whatever shit they say.”

“But what if I say something stupid?” Mickey asks, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

“Eh, Lip will like you anyway, right?”

“I just don’t wanna fuck this up, you know?” Mickey says. “I love him or some gay shit like that.”

“I know.” Mandy nods. “And I also know that you got this, okay? Pretend it just you and him up there and everything will be fine.”

“Okay.” Mickey smiles, squeezing his sister’s hand where it still lays on his shoulder.

“Alright, well, I leave you to fix your hair or drink beer or whatever it is that grooms do before a wedding.”

Mandy turns to leave Mickey behind when he calls out.

“Hey Mands!”

“Yeah?” She answers, spinning back around.

“Thank you.”

***

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Fiona repeats as she paces back and forth in the hall, her cell phone pressed to her ear. “Why isn’t he answering?”

Fiona’s eyes catch a glimpse of red hair, but it’s only her little sister coming to meet her.

“Still no luck?” Debbie asks, taking in the defeated look on Fiona’s face.

“Nah.” Fiona sighs. “I wish he would just tell us if he’s gonna bail. At least then we’d know that he isn’t in a ditch somewhere.”

“Maybe he’s waiting to make a grand entrance?” Debbie jokes.

“Maybe.” Fiona smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Debbie walks away and Fiona grabs her phone to dial the same number for a fiftieth time.

_“It’s Ian. Leave me a message.” Beep._

“Look, Ian. It’s okay if you decided this wedding is all too much, but please text me or whatever so I know you’re alive. Please. Love you, kiddo.”

***

“Want one?”

The strange voice drags Ian out of his trance.

He turns to his left and comes face to face with a tall, blonde man whose outstretched hand holds a cigarette.

“Yeah, actually.” Ian nods, taking the cigarette and letting the hot stranger light it.

“You look like you’re having a rough one.” The guy says. “I’m Casper, by the way.”

“Ian.”

“So, Ian. What’s got you looking so depressed while leaning against one of the prettiest homes in Chicago?” Casper teases.

“Supposed to be at a wedding right now.” Ian sighs.

“It’s not your wedding, is it?” Casper asks, eyebrow raised.

“No, no.” Ian half-smirks. “My brother Lip's, who happens to be marrying my exe.”

“Ah, I see.” Casper nods. “And where is this wedding of betrayal?”

“You see that gazebo down the hill?” Ian points across the long stretch of grass.

“Of course.”

“There.”

“Like the wedding is happening there now?” Casper says.

“Well, in about 20 minutes.” Ian answers. “The problem is that I soon as I could see it. As soon as I could see the place where it all was gonna happen, I froze.”

“So, you’re still in love with your exe?”

“I don’t think so.” Ian replies honestly. “More like, I’m in love with what my life could’ve been, you know? After today, my brother and my exe are gonna be married, and I’ll still be the single, hot mess little brother that everyone has to worry about.”

Casper nods, letting Ian vent.

“And I guess my brain thinks that if I stay here, if I don’t actually go to the wedding, then it won’t happen. And I can pretend that there’s still time.”

“Still time for what?” Casper presses.

“Get my life together, I guess.”

“You got plenty of time for that, Ian! You’re what? 24? 25? That’s what your twenties are for! Figuring everything out.” Casper insists.

Ian looks over at Casper, and when he sees no hint of deception, only true care and honesty, he lets out a deep breath.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Hell yeah, I’m right!” Casper smiles.

Ian takes one last, long drag of the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and stomping it out.

“So why don’t we over to this wedding, yeah? Get this shit over with?” Casper offers.

“We?” Ian sputters.

“Yeah, I’m a friend of your brother.” Casper smirks. “That’s why I’m here.”

“No shit.” Ian breathes.

“No shit indeed.” Casper repeats. “Now, c’mon. Let’s go.”

Casper reaches out a hand, wiggling his fingers like a mother making a child hold her hand before crossing the street.

“Oh, fuck off.” Ian laughs, slapping at Casper’s hand and walking toward the gazebo.

“That’s the spirit!”

***

Fiona and Mandy have put it off as long as they can, but the moment of reckoning has arrived.

The wedding is planned to start in five minutes and there is still no sign of Ian.

The two women share a look of exhaustion and hesitance before they make their way to the grooms.

The men are seated beside each other on a bench a few feet from the gazebo.

They both decided that the “can’t see each other before the wedding” thing was shit.

Besides, their wedding was just their siblings and a few friends, so who cares about formality.

Fiona leads the way as she braces herself to share the news.

Lip looks up and sees her approaching. It only takes him a second to notice the grim expression on her face and it has him jumping up out of his seat.

“What? What is it?”

“I, uh, I’ve got some not great news.” Fiona sighs, prompting Mickey to also stand.

“It looks like Ian is-“

“Right here!”

All four turn toward the presence of two new people.

“Look who I found outside.” Casper smiles, shoving at Ian’s shoulder, who pushes him right back.

“Ian!” Mandy squeals, pulling him into a hug. “You had me worried.”

“You had us both worried.” Fiona scolds.

“I was just running a bit late.” Ian lies, hoping that Casper won’t rat him out.

“Oh, okay.” Fiona nods, studying Ian’s face for a moment before looking back at the husbands to be. “Well, problem solved! Let’s have a wedding!”

***

Because the wedding was so small, Lip and Mickey decided not to have best men/women.

So, all their siblings and friends serve as the audience, watching while the two boys vowed to love each other through it all.

Kev serves as the officiate, having gotten his certification many years earlier.

“Alright, boys. Time for vows. Lip?”

“Well, Mickey. I have absolutely no fucking clue how we got here.”

Their family laughed at how true that statement is.

“But we’re here, and somehow you’ve become my favorite person in the whole world, and one of the few people that I can tolerate day after day, and I want to keep tolerating you for the rest of our lives. So, I vow to stay when you’re sick or fucked up and annoying. I vow to try and be a better roommate and do my share of the dishes. I vow to try not to complain about your fucking ice cold feet when we’re in bed. Most of all, I vow to keep loving you until we’re old and gross.”

Mickey smiles at Lip lovely, wondering when they became two sappy pieces of shit.

“Your turn, Mick.” Kev grins.

Mickey takes a deep breath, eyes slipping to look at Mandy for encouragement. She nods supportively.

“Lip, you know I’m shit at this kind of thing.” Mickey starts, making his almost husband laugh. “But I would do anything for you. You’re my person or whatever. Somewhere over the last few years, I stopped finding you annoying and realized that you were my best friend. Only God knows how that fucking happened, but what I do know is that a day without you is a day that I don’t wanna live, so, uh, I vow to stay. I will stand by you until my legs don’t work and then I’ll still sit by you.”

Lip lets out a wet laugh, tears in his eyes threatening to fall.

“I love you, Lip, and I promise to always love you.”

“Well, seeing as your rings are already tattooed on your fingers, you can go ahead and kiss the groom!” Kev bellows, the cheers of their families filling the atmosphere.

A few minutes pass and the newlyweds are still sucking each other’s faces, so Fiona leads the group to the Alibi, leaving the two boys to follow later.

***

Ian sits at the bar, watching as his brother and his exe sway slowly to a sappy song playing over the Alibi’s speakers.

“How ya holding up, Ian?” Casper asks, sliding into the seat beside Ian.

“I’m good, actually.” Ian smiles, and he really means it.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Casper grins.

 “Well I owe you a thank you.” Ian says.

“Oh yeah? What for?”

You kinda saved my ass today, right?” Ian says, half joking half honest.

“Nah, just gave you a little push.” Casper replies. “You made the choice. You should give yourself more credit, Ian. You think you’re some complete mess, but this situation would’ve been hard for anyone.”

“I guess you’re right.” Ian grins.

“I always am.” Casper teases.

Casper waves at Kev for another drink before turning to face Ian straight on.

“So, this might be a little weird, considering how we met a few hours ago, but, uh, would you maybe wanna go on a date with me?”

Ian’s eyebrows rise high on his forehead.

“Are you serious?”

“I mean,” Casper shrugs, nervously. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m serious.”

“Well. Okay.” Ian nods.

***

“Fuck.” Mickey breathes, as he and Lip dance back and forth in the middle of the Alibi. “Can’t believe we actually just got married.”

“I know.” Lip beams. “What the fuck?”

“But I’m so fucking happy.” Mickey says earnestly, laying his head on Lip’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Lip whispers. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! Thanks for staying with me! I can't believe I actually finished this fic. There were definitely times where I thought I might just give up, but you guys pushed me through. I hope you enjoyed the ending and thanks again for all your kudos and comments. 
> 
> Hit me up on [my tumblr](http://www.ianmickgallagher.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, this WILL NOT be a 'Mickey leaves Lip for Ian' fic or a cheating fic. 
> 
> Let me know if your excited for what's next or just ready for me to ditch it and run. 
> 
> Visit me or prompt me on [my tumblr](http://www.ianmickgallagher.tumblr.com)


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